Monday, February 13, 2012

Drawing From The Punishment Box: Mushrooms

One of the things it took us a while to figure out was punishment--as i am generally a little pain sub the sting of my Lady's flogger or a tug on my nipple clamps proved in many ways ineffective punishments, especially as J was sometimes nervous about "pushing things too far" and hurting me...Such a thoughtful Lady to worry so about Her slave. =-) 

Yet we still needed a way to correct substandard service, backtalking, missed tasks or general poor behavior.  As J grew in Her role as a Domme She also grew in Her desire to inflict punishment, which at first was something She was more nervous and unsure about, but is now something She has fully embraced.  At times i wonder at how i am getting much more than i ever bargained for, and how lucky i am. =-) 

After a brainstorming session a while back we came up with a series of punishments that She felt comfortable using, and that were truly punishments for me and not things i would crave or would cause intentional bad behavior because i was seeking a "punishment" that was anything but.

Some of the punishments are related to tedium, things like loooooong stretches isolated in a closet or dark room, or writing lines based on whatever my failing had been (with special thanks to the Fond of Writing software).  Others are activities i find really unpleasant, including kneeling on rice, or being placed in an uncomfortable standing or kneeling position while holding a poker chip (or if i have been really poor, a penny or smaller item) against the wall with my nose or fingers, or both.

We have also recently started playing around with post-orgasm torture, where J teases and tickles my cock mercilessly right after i have been allowed a release.  This is almost unbearable... Yet another is basic, but dreaded: a cold shower, while J gleefully watches me as i gasp and wriggle and ultimately scream as the frigid water pours down.  That one is doubly dreaded in the winter...=-)

Each punishment is written on a card and dropped in a box, and whenever i need punishing and J does not feel like having to decide what to do, we draw randomly from the box.  One thing about drawing punishments is that i have to read it aloud, my voice often catching in my throat as i say the words.  We had one drawing the other night, after i had failed to perform J's nightly foot rub the day before - i was out late that night and by the time i got home She was asleep so i missed my daily duty to worship Her feet.  No matter the circumstances (aside from when we travel apart) this is unacceptable and is ALWAYS cause for a punishment.

J sat on the bed as i brought the punishment box out, placing it on the floor and kneeling before it.

"Well...what are you waiting for, dear? Draw." 

i reached into the box and pulled out a card.  Flipping it over revealed the word MUSHROOMS.  i read it aloud and then involuntarily groaned.  J silenced me with a look.

"What was that?" She demanded.  i lowered my eyes and said "sorry, sorry, sorry" repeatedly, then knelt down and kissed each of Her feet, expressing my deep gratitude to J for taking the time and care to punish me.

"Hmmmm....well, the foot kissing is nice, but that's expected.  The groan, however, is UNACCEPTABLE.  We will be drawing from the box again tomorrow as punishment for that, do you understand?"

"Yes, my Lady," i whispered, my mind and soul diving deep into subspace, my regret real and genuine as i murmured a heartfelt "Thank You, my Lady."

"All right then, well...let's get started.  First, why are we punishing you?"  i replied it was because of my inexcusable failure and selfishness in staying out too late and failing to serve Her feet the other night.  "Good.  Now crawl into the kitchen and fetch the can, slave."

i crawled into the kitchen, dread rising in my stomach as i opened the can of generic mushrooms and a fork and returned to my Lady's feet.  She was sitting up on the edge of the bed, smiling.

"Good kneel before me, close your eyes and open wide!" J laughed.  i did as ordered, and almost as soon as my mouth was open the first forkful of slimy, foul mushrooms slid into my mouth.

You see, i HATE mushrooms.  Always have, always will.  i don't care if they are fresh or dried, portabello or other fancy variety, cooked, raw or whatever.  i find them disgusting, and in the past i would often gag at the merest taste of a single foul fungus that had ended up on a pizza slice or hidden in a salad.  But as i am not allergic to mushrooms or anything, J had the devilish idea of using them as a punishment, and after a few different samples we settled on canned generic mushrooms as the best (or worst!) variety for punishing me.

i swallowed the nasty forkful, murmuring a "thank You my Lady" and eagerly opening my mouth for more.  One of J's rules is that not only am i not allowed to gag or even make a foul face, i am expected to eagerly open my mouth ("like a baby bird" as J put it) for more.  Any failure to do so results in at minimum a swift face slap, more mushrooms to eat, and sometimes something worse.

J shoved a few more forkfuls of awful mushrooms into my mouth, and while every part of me wanted to gag and spit them out i swallowed each one as quickly as i could and eagerly opened my mouth for more.  J then slid a forkful near my mouth and whispered "Hold..." before sliding it between my lips.  This meant i had to hold the mouthful on my tongue, the juices and slippery mushrooms sliding around as they touched every corner of my taste buds, tongue, teeth and lips.

"Open your eyes, dear," J whispered.  As i opened i gazed up at Her, the look in Her eyes so glorious and powerful as She looked down at me.  She was clearly enjoying Herself, a wry smile on Her face as She watched me suffer.

"Are those good, slave?"  i nodded my head, which is expected.  "Do you want more?"  i nodded again, and J's smiled broadened.  "Well, you better swallow, then."

More forkfuls slid in, each worse than the last, but each time i kept myself under control and eagerly asked for more.  J then had me tip my head back a bit and poured some of the juice from the can into my mouth, ordering me again to hold it there.

" swish it around, slave.  It's your punishment mouthwash, and i want every inch of your mouth to taste it."  This was my least favorite, the awful liquid sloshing around as i fought to keep from gagging.  J had me hold it in my mouth for a while for what seemed like forever, even leaving for a time to brush Her teeth and get Herself ready for bed.

"Goooood job, slave" She sang as She returned.  "OK, you can swallow that now."  i choked down the liquid, licked my lips and looked up at Her.  "I think that's enough for tonight, don't you?" J smiled.  The only correct answer (as i learned painfully) to that question is "Only if You think so, my Lady."  J nodded Her head that it was, and the relief washed over me as i put the remnants away and crawled back to Her. 

As always after a punishment, i knelt and kissed each of Her feet three times, whispering "Thank You for punishing me, my Lady" each time.  i then crawled in beside Her, the terrible taste still in my mouth but my devotion to Her as high as ever.

"Now, we don't want to follow that up with a reward for you, dear...but that doesn't mean I don't get one, isn't that right?"  i quickly agreed, and spent the next hour attending to Her desires, caressing Her body and teasing Her sex with my fingers before eventually bringing Her to two orgasms with Her favorite vibe.  She wriggled and moaned and screamed while my cock throbbed helplessly, untouched and with no chance of release.

"Mmmmmm...good job, dear," J whispered, clearly pleased as She rolled over.  "Good night....and be ready to draw from the box in the morning."  i snuggled into Her and eventually drifted off to sleep, mind reeling and heart soaring as i basked in the glow of truly being Hers.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Exquisite Denial

Last night J and i were in bed, snuggling against the cold, when She began to slide Her fingers along my arm and bare chest, a clear sign She was interested in, um, more than snuggling.  i of course quickly responded, a low moan escaping my lips as i rolled over towards Her, our legs intertwining as we locked lips in a deep kiss.  my tongue began to explore Her neck, something J loves, and i slid Her sleep shirt off and began to worship Her amazing breasts.  As my tongue flicked and nibbled Her growing nipples, J arched Her back, closing Her eyes and spreading Her legs a bit, inviting me between them.  i slid in between Her gorgeous thighs, my cock sliding on Her pussy as we both began rocking our hips in rhythm, kissing each other passionately.

"I want you inside me.  Now."  J whispered.  i was, of course, more than eager to comply.  While we are exploring a Female-led relationship and J has definitely been taking more control in the bedroom (and everywhere else!), She does still enjoy sex in all its forms, including the more traditional me-on-top position of old.  i slowly slid my cock inside of Her, moaning with pleasure as i entered.  We kissed deeply as our hips rocked in unison, slow moans of pleasure escaping both our lips.  i was, as i always am when with J in this way, in heaven.  But i was not prepared for what happened next.

"Stop."  J whispered in my ear, a smile on Her face as my astonished eyes looked into Hers.  i stopped, with some difficulty, and gazed at Her.  She grinned and caressed my face in Her hand, then gave me a quick smack with Her palm on my cheek.

" are you doing, dear?" J smiled again.  i was barely able to form coherent words, and simply garbled at Her.  "That good, huh?  Well..."  J grabbed each of my nipples between the thumb and forefinger of each hand and gave a sharp twist, immediately sending waves of sharp pain and driving me into subspace.  "Let's try something different, dear...go and fetch me a glass of wine.  And while you're at it, bring your cuffs and my toy."

i hesitated, still inside Her, my brain slow to process this information i guess.  "Did I stutter?" came J's swift reply.  "No, my Lady," i answered.  "Then Go!"

The yearning to stay inside Her was so strong, but i slid myself off of J and set about the task She had set.  Upon my return She was sitting up with the pillows against the headboard.  i handed Her a glass of wine and knelt at the side of the bed waiting.  After She took a few sips J placed the glass down and ordered me up on the bed.

"Turn around and give me those hands," She ordered.  i complied and felt our fur-lined leather cuffs slide around each of my wrists, then locking together to bind my arms behind me.  " that should keep you out of trouble," J laughed.  She had me turn around to face Her and gave me a deep, passionate kiss, then grabbed my hair lovingly and guided my head down between Her legs.

i immediately and enthusiastically set to work, my tongue exploring Her, flicking along each inner thigh before setting to work on Her now dripping sex.  J's moans and gasps told me that i was doing well, and i could hear Her enjoy a few more sips of wine as i attended to Her pussy.  At the risk of sounding egotistical, i believe that i have become pretty good at serving J orally, and am proud of my improvement in this intimate way of bringing Her to orgasm.

As my tongue moved faster and faster J's hips began to buck and Her low moans started to become louder.  She grabbed my hair as i worked ever harder, and screamed as i brought Her to orgasm, Her lovely thighs squeezing each side of my head tightly and back arched as She came.  The moment after bringing J to orgasm orally like this is one of my favorite sub moments, especially on nights like this where it feels like She really enjoyed it, when her thighs almost crush my head completely.

She laid back, breathing hard and smiling.  "Well done, slave...very well done."  The best words to hear from Your lady, am i right?

i lay there between Her legs as J relaxed and had another sip of wine, then was ordered onto my back next to Her.  J ran Her fingers along my bare chest, teasing each nipple, my body so attuned to Her touch that every second was exquisite.  She then grabbed my cock and began stroking it gently.

"Hmmmm....seems like we could put this to use," She murmured.

J then climbed on top of me, sliding Her now dripping sex up and down my body and over my throbbing cock.  The feeling was almost indescribable as She then sat up and slid Herself down on to me, gasping as i entered Her once again.

"Now let's see...keep still and do NOT cum.  Do you understand, slave?"

"Yes, my Lady," i breathed hoarsely.


J then reached for Her "toy," a small pink vibrator with three speed settings.  She turned it to the lowest setting and began sliding it over Her pussy, moaning as Her already sensitive sex began to immediately respond.  As She slid up and down on me, increasing the speed of Her vibe, it was incredibly difficult not to cum (and just as hard not to start bucking my hips like a wild animal), but i was able to persevere.

"Do you see, slave? You are nothing more than another one of my sex toys, here for my pleasure," J said wickedly.  "Let me hear you say it."

i repeated it back to Her, a quiver in my voice and my breath coming in short gasps.  J smiled and laughed softly and had me say it two more times.

J came soon afterwards, wonderfully expressive as i gazed up at the incredible woman sitttng above me, using me for Her enjoyment.  She then slowly slid Herself off of me and snuggled in next to me, smiling as She put Her head on my chest, Her hair spilling out over my quivering body.

"Well done, slave.  I am proud of you, and your control is getting  MUCH better," She whispered.  i whimpered and moaned in return, my hips bucking of their own accord as i yearned for release.

" need some help, there?"  "Hmmmm..."

J began sliding Her hands over my cock, stroking slowly at first, then with more speed.  She mocked my whimpering, repeating it back to me and smiling.  As my eyes widened (one sign that i was getting to the edge) She gazed at me and simply said "no, no no, dear...not tonight," and then removed Her hands from my cock, sliding over to Her side of the bed and picking up Her wine glass.

"Not tonight, dear.  I think I'll watch you writhe for a bit, and then we are going to sleep."

"Ye...yes, my Lady," I breathed.  With my hands still bound behind me i was in agony, yearning for release.  i twitched and writhed on the bed, whimpering as i realized there was no release to come tonight.  J, for Her part, seemed to really enjoy the "show," giggling as i struggled.  She would reach over and just brush Her hand across my leg or arm or chest or cock, and it was like a jolt of electricity.  i jumped every time She touched me, and She enjoyed that VERY much, smiling and laughing each time.

Eventually (after what seemed like forever!) i began to calm a little.  J had me roll over so She could remove my cuffs, my shoulders now aching from the bondage and activity.  She gazed deep into my eyes, then kissed me one last time, and with a simple "Now NO touching yourself tonight," rolled over to go to sleep.  i cuddled in next to Her, wrapping my arm around Her beautiful body.  While i did not go to sleep for quite some time (i wonder why...?), the feeling was better than any dream.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

A Fun Evening

Last night we played a new kind of game, one of the best we ever have.  As J has grown more and more in Her comfort level as the dominant one in our marriage, Her wicked imagination has been more and more unleashed. Last night was a great example...

We were enjoying a quiet evening at home, watching a movie and generally basking in each other's company. As is required every night, i was down at Her feet, rubbing lotion and massaging Her beautiful soles, my attention fixed on Her needs. J was deeply enjoying Her massage, but felt like She needed to keep my focus where it belonged.  She ordered me to fetch the clover nipple clamps, which She attached to each nipple roughly, tying a short length of rope so She could tug away to Her heart's content. Which She did often, sometimes if She felt like i was wavering, and sometimes just because my gasps and moans amuse Her.

Then J decided She wanted to try something new. She told me to finish up her foot massage and then had me crawl along the couch until i was kneeling at Her side. She then ordered me to sit on the floor, my legs out in front of me and ass down on the carpet. J grabbed the chain on my clamps (my nipples were throbbing at this point!) and pulled it out tight from me and down towards my waist. She took a piece of string and tied it to the middle of the clamps, then looped it around my big toe and tied it taut.

"Stand up, dear," She whispered.

As i stood i realized that the string (oh, wicked string!) meant that i could barely stand at all, and could only stand bent over at the waist. Any attempt to straighten up meant a sharp tug on the chain, thus digging the clover clamps in even tighter. There was also a sharp tug on my toe, which was not a comfortable feeling either. i stood, helplessly bent over, my cheeks reddening and breath quickening at this new peril.

J laughed to herself, tugging the chain and string to make sure everything was secure. "Excellent," She breathed, a smile crossing Her face. "I like seeing you bent over like this, where you belong, respectful to me and helpless in my power."

"Yes, my Lady," i whispered, my cock hard and heart racing.

"Now let's take you out for a spin, dear. Go and fetch me the paddle and short flogger. To start."

i walked into our bedroom and fetched both, walking with an awkward gait to minimize the pressure on the clamps. Any wrong step brought a sharp reminder of my predicament, but i was able to return to the living room reasonably swiftly.

"Kind of slow, but it is de-light-ful to see you so helpless!  Now lets test your control of your own body. Turn around and take two steps away from me," J ordered in a commanding voice. i am amazed at how much more confident She sounds, a huge change over the last few months. It also sounds like there is real joy and delight in Her voice when She has me like this, which i am so happy for.

i turned and before i could even prepare...SMACK. J had brought Her small leather paddle down on my exposed ass. i gasped at the sting, but what i was not ready for was my body's instinctive reaction to rear up and try to straighten. This brought a STRONG yank on the nipple clamps, and i gasped and groaned as they burned.  The string held fast and the pain was palpable. i knew what was coming next.

"You see, slave? You need to learn to keep still, and keep quiet. And I think this will help," She said wickedly.

As J rained down blows with the paddle i fought (and often lost) to keep still. Each smack made my ass burn, and each time i faltered and rose up, a second burn in my nipples made Her message clear. Tears began streaming down my face and my breath came out in harsh, labored bursts.

J then ordered me to step one more step away. The whoosh in the air was my only warning as Her leather flogger came down across my ass and the back of my legs. This new pain, stingier and sharper then the paddle, caused me to revert right back, yanking my torso upwards and being held down by the clamps on my nipples. i faltered, almost stumbled, but stayed up.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk, dear. You were doing better, but apparently you need much more practice," J barked out, Her voice sterner than ever. "Practice" started right then, as She worked my ass and legs for what seemed like forever, each blow coming at a different angle and force, the constant changing making it hard to keep still. Again and again i yelped and whimpered as the pain in my ass and nipples traded places. i began to find myself, though, and was amazed at how i did improve, if not nearly enough.

"Hmmmm...well, you are getting better, but we clearly have much more work to do. But that's probably enough for tonight."

"Thank You, my Lady," i whispered hoarsely, my face wet with sweat and cock dripping.

"Now two more things before I release you. First, get down there and lick up the mess you made." i crawled on the floor and licked up the small puddle my engorged cock had made, eagerly lapping away to make sure i got it all.

"Good. Now go and get me some ice cream, bring me that small pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer and I will let you go. Maybe."

i hobbled over to the kitchen and opened the freezer. The ice cream in question was way in the back of the top shelf, and i realized i would not be able to reach it. "What's taking so long?" came the question from the couch. i realized then that this was a setup, that J knew the ice cream would be hard to reach. But there was a way...i lifted my bound toe off the ground, and standing awkwardly on one leg was able to get enough slack to reach into the fridge and get the ice cream. i was panting as i returned to my now seemingly normal bent over position. Turning to go back to the living room i saw J in the doorway, smiling.

"Good work, dear. That was fun to watch, and I commend you on your obedience and creativity. Now come here."

i wobbled over to J, who promptly grabbed each clamp and removed it. i gasped and moaned as the blood rushed back to my nipples. J took my chin in her hand and lifted my head to look into my eyes. She grabbed each nipple and twisted roughly, and as i gasped and twitched She said simply, "What do you say, dear?"

i marveled at Her and whispered a deeply heartfelt "Thank You, my Lady." She released my nipples and i immediately dropped to my knees and bent over and kissed each of Her feet, whispering "Thank You, thank you, thank you," as i kissed each one three times.

With that J smiled and led me into the living room for another movie. She pulled me close and stroked my hair, and i felt rapturously happy.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Nightly Foot Rubs

One of the best ideas we had for deepening our Female-led marriage was to institute a rule where J receives at least one foot massage from me every day. The length and details of the foot massage varies and is (of course!) up to Her, but even if it is only a few minutes it is required that i worship Her feet at least once daily.

This has been wonderful for many reasons. For one thing it definitely helped J feel more comfortable as She discovered Her more dominant side, especially early on. The idea of a daily expectation really helped create the space for Her to feel more and more comfortable *telling* me what to do, as opposed to *asking* for a favor. i think for many submissive men that distinction between asking and telling is HUGE, it helps drive us into sub space and make more explicit the clear power She is taking over us, which at least for me was definitely something i craved.

i still remember the thrill when J started to be more and more demanding around Her nightly foot rub. Once we were actually in bed kissing and sliding our hands over each other, clearly involved in foreplay, when J grabbed me by the hair, stared right into my eyes and said, "Didn't you forget something today, dear?"  i gulped and swallowed a meek reply, and She simply said, "Get down there!" and sent me away to massage Her feet. i rubbed lotion into every inch and massaged Her feet for a good hour before She told me to finish up. Once i was done i leaned in for a kiss, which She obliged, but then simply said "that's all you're going to get tonight...maybe that will help you to remember."  my mind swirled and reeled, and honestly i didn't sleep all that well that night, but it felt like a milestone and it was absolutely thrilling to see J feel that kind of control, and so clearly enjoy it.

Other nights were more subtle, but just as wonderful. Just the simple moving away from "Will you rub my feet?" to things like "Go get that new lotion, tonight you'll be busy for a while, dear" or "Come here, you know what to do, so get busy" to (a favorite) the times She will simply get my attention and then slide one bare foot out from under a blanket and point to it with a commanding look on Her face. All of it makes me reel with delight.

This has also been wonderful because i adore J's feet. They are very small (she is a small woman in general) with adorable toes, a lovely arch and beautiful skin. Our nightly foot rubs are also lovely in that i know how much J enjoys them, Her whole body relaxing, eyes closing and soft murmurs of contentment and approval escaping Her lips. In fact, i used to massage J's feet from time to time well before we even considered something like a Female-led relationship (or honestly even were aware that such a thing existed...) just because it made Her happy. Those foot rubs were some of my own first awakenings to my submissive desires, which has led down the amazing road we are on now.

Along with that, there is such intimacy in a foot rub, which is all the more important in a world where we spend more and more time plugged into electronics. There have been many nights where we have each been working on computers or in different rooms or somehow otherwise separated, and where the nightly ritual of a foot massage has brought together. Some of our best conversations happen when J is stretched out on the couch and i am kneeling at Her feet, sliding my thumb along Her arch or gently caressing Her ankle as i massage between each toe.

i cannot recommend enough establishing nightly rituals like that one. We have instituted some others as well that i will talk about in later posts, but the foot massages were really the key for J to unlock the dominant desires within Her, and come to embrace and enjoy Her newfound role and all the benefits and fun She could get from Her new pet/slave/adorer.

It has also been a big help in another part of our FLR that was tricky at first: punishment. J was not really all that comfortable at first with the idea of punishment, but She recognized the importance of it (no sense having rules if there's no motivation, right?) and was game to try. We progressed fitfully with punishment until the nightly foot rubs. Having that daily expectation helped J to embrace the whole idea of expectations and that it was really about Her enjoyment and Her needs, which in turn helped Her to come to understand better and ultimately enjoy punishing me for misdeeds. Missing a foot rub, no matter the reason, is absolutely a punishable offense, and J has really come to be a creative, strict yet loving giver of proper punishments. More to come on that later as well...=-)

So guys, get down there and rub Her feet often and whenever She wishes. There is not a Woman in the world who doesn't enjoy a foot rub, and if you're wired submissively like i am there are few places better than at the feet of your Wife or Girlfriend. And who knows, it might lead to a whole world of new, and amazing, possibilities...