Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Getting Started

I am excited to begin 2012 by sharing this new part of my life with others. I am a very happily married man, and after 10 years of wedded bliss, Lovely Wife (J) and I are beginning to more intentionally and thoughtfully explore a Female Led Relationship in this new year.

We have played around a bit with the idea in the past, mostly in the bedroom but at times in our daily lives as well. This has all been wonderful, and J has been a game, if at times puzzled or hesitant, participant, doling out spankings, teasing and more when i ask. But it has always felt like i was imposing upon Her, despite the fact that i was trying to put Her on a pedestal, serve Her, be "Her slave," and all that other stuff that comes up. As i said She was always game, but it still felt like I was the one in charge. We had a lot (a lot) of fun this way, but I think we both want more.

A few months back, however, i began to really think about what it means to put someone on a pedestal and to truly adore Her, not just for my own pleasure and submissive needs, but to make Her life better, more rich and more satisfying. J is an amazing woman, intelligent and kind, fun and spontaneous, optimistic and wise, and sexy as hell. We have had a number of long and open discussions about the idea of a more female led relationship, one where She truly has more and more power, where She is able to lead the way down the paths that She is interested in exploring, and where i am able to feed the submissive cravings that keep growing and rising inside me. Along the way our highest cause is to retain and enhance our loving friendship, healthy sex lives and joyous marriage.

We have been on this journey for a while, but it feels like in the last couple of months we have truly begun to plot a course, to map out where we are and where we both want to go. This is exciting, as each day seems to bring new awakenings and possibilities, and we grow closer than ever before.

i decided it was time to start writing about this, and figured starting a blog would be the best way to do that. I'm not yet sure exactly what i will be posting (i have a few ideas, though...) or how often, but you never know where you're headed until you walk out the door, right?

i will end by sharing one small moment from the other day that struck me as a good example of our new beginnings. i had done the dishes at the request of J, and She grabbed a pot and lid to make some soup for Herself. Upon examining the lid She realized i had left some nasty, crusted spinach on the edge (I am not the world's greatest dishwasher...at least not yet =-).  In the past, She would have likely sighed, shook her head (with a wry smile on her face) and washed the lid Herself. Not that day, though. Instead She summoned me over with a sharp "come here!", grabbed me by the hair and put the lid right up into my face.

"Do you see this? What's that?" She snapped. I was speechless, struggling for words.

"This is NOT how you leave our dishes after I ask you to wash them. Do you understand?"

"Yes...yes my Lady."

"Wash this lid, and while you're at it, do all the other pots and pans again."

i proceeded to wash the lid, as well as the (at least in theory...) already clean pan and pot in the drying rack. All the while J hovered next to me, sliding her hands over my back and ass and watching my every move. i focused on getting that lid clean more than i have ever focused on getting a dish clean in my entire life, my brain whirring, cock definitely at attention and body deeply tuned to Her presence next to me. Once i was finished She examined the lid and finding it to Her satisfaction sent me away. But not before saying "This is how it's going to be from now on. And you are going to get better at this."

I replied "Yes dear," and noticed a quiver in my voice that I did not expect. I apologized again and vowed it would not ever happen again. "Better not," She replied, a twinkle in Her eye and a wondrous smile on Her face.

Not a huge event, not a big production, but exactly the kind of more established daily actions that we have been talking about and are interested in exploring. i spent the next hour aroused, chastised and fulfilled all at once, and felt even more so like adoring Her in whatever way She desired. When She sat down to eat her soup i slid over and gently rubbed Her feet, a wordless act that affirmed the events of earlier and made us both immensely happy.

i am a happy, lucky man.


  1. I would say that getting a clear understanding of "topping from the bottom" and what her being in charge "looks like" to both parties was a major breakthrough for us. Mind you, I think this is very much a process, but when she truly sat down and told me how my "suggestions" made her feel, I finally got it. Things have been better since then. I guess a sub needs some clear rules and guidance.

    1. Agreed...the whole "topping from the bottom" thing is one of the trickiest parts of establishing a Female led relationship, and one that is really important to get through together.

      We struggled with it a bit ourselves, but after some patience from J, good communication between us, and J's own growing comfort and enjoyment in taking charge and taking control we have more or less put it behind us. And for those times where i might start to slip up, we have a nice gag that shuts me right up. =-)

  2. After 10 years of marriage, you and J are starting on something deeper. If you can keep up with the little things like this, your relationship might last. It will be interesting to see how your FLR relationship grows. You might get some tips from At Her Feet-Female Led Relationships - a free forum at this link. http://bit.ly/AvGLLC Good luck.

    1. Thanks dave! i have dropped by the At Her Feet-Female Led Relationships forum a little bit in the past, but i guess i should spend some more time and dive in! we are doing well so far, we get busy and sometimes days pass without much in the way of deepening our FLR, but one of things i like about it is that we always circle back to it, and it is such a great way to remember to create intimate moments with the one you love. =-)

  3. I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you

    Lady Domme