We're not big 'sexters' by nature. Nothing wrong with it or anything, but for whatever reason it's just never been something we've done a lot of in the past. That's not to say that J doesn't wield control over me from afar, but we tend to use email or talk on the phone. Though that has started to change...
In the last couple weeks or so i have started getting occasional text messages from J, each a single word and a single word only. They started coming without warning, and there has not really been any kind of schedule or regularity to them, which in a lot of ways makes them even hotter. i'm at the point now where every time my phone beeps with a text message i get a little jolt and the heart rate picks up just a little, and i find i'm more often than not disappointed when it's a friend asking if i want to go grab a beer or something...
i'm not entirely sure what inspired J to start sending these, but whatever it is i'd like to thank that source of inspiration and maybe buy it a present. Because it's been a great addition to our play, and a fun way to keep the fires stoked during busy times.
Note from J(!): This wasn't something I thought a lot about, and I'm not sure what the inspiration was. I was just at work one day and knew my slave was home and figured I'd have a little fun. I was quite taken with how I felt after I hit send on the word 'KNEEL' and spent the next few minutes zoning out in the work meeting I was in imagining my slave's reaction, and picturing him on his knees. It's been fun! And more than a little distracting, LOL.
And since it was me who decided to start this, I expect a "present" from my slave tonight. :-)
As J said, the first one was 'KNEEL'. i was home that day and saw i had a message from Her, but had no idea what was coming. i caught my breath and then, with heart racing and face flushed i knelt. i wrote back 'Yes My Lady' and waited. It was 20 minutes before the phone beeped again, with the word 'RISE'. i rose, texted back a 'Thank You My Lady' and went on with my day.
There have been a few more, and J has even started telling me Her expectations for some, just so i don't screw anything up and end up facing a punishment for my own inability to understand what She requires. So far She has also texted me with:
NAKED - pretty self-explanatory, and at times not possible. If i am in, say, the grocery store, when i get that one i am required to strip down as soon as i return home, text J when i do, and wait. That way we prevent any law-breaking...which is good. i'm happy to be J's prisoner, but don't have any interest in a criminal justice system where She is not judge, jury and executioner.
HOME - J texted me this when i was out running errands on a Saturday and She was home. i immediately took my half-finished list of items to the register, paid and raced home. Upon arriving home i was told to strip, and J then cuffed me to the bed and flogged me three times for every minute between when i got the text and when i got home. It took 27 minutes to get home, so i was sooooore afterwards. :-)
STROKE - This was one where again She knew i was home. Again, pretty self explanatory...i texted back 'Yes My Lady' and began stroking, knowing i was not to come without Her permission (as always...). She eventually wrote back STOP, and that was that. Teased, tormented, writhing (it took a while) but ultimately frustrated. All by two words.
COLLAR - J texted me this one on Her way home, after explaining previously that it meant i was to strip, move to the entryway of our house with my collar, place it on the floor and kneel in front of it, awaiting Her return. When J entered She found me in position, where i had been for about 15 minutes...She seemed pleased.
BAND - This one came to me at work. And again, J had let me know what She had in mind. Something we had played with before when She was away was my putting a rubberband tight across my inner thigh and then pulling it out and snapping it back as hard as i could. It hurts! And is a great way for Her to administer some pain while not with me. For this text i went into the bathroom at work (which is pretty private), stripped off my pants and snapped the rubberband on the inside of each thigh 10 times, then on the underside. It left some stripes and a delicious sting i felt most of the rest of the day...
i have no idea how often this kind of thing will be happening, and what new wicked ideas J has in store. i do really enjoy this new game, and am particularly amazed at how potent it is because She only sends a single word. i think anything longer would be less effective.
Whatever happens, if nothing else i now have an entirely new relationship with the beeping sound my cell makes when receiving any text...the instant connection between that sound and my cock is only getting stronger, which makes me think that Pavlov guy was on to something with the whole psychology of connection sounds to actions. I'm almost worried about the day when i receive 4 or 5 texts in a row from whoever, and whether or not i'll be able to hold it together!
Friday, October 19, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
New Tradition: Nightly Cuffing
J has recently introduced a new tradition, She has not yet said how long it will last but for now (as always!) i am going with the flow...and enjoying the ride.
One night about a week ago when we were getting ready for bed J ordered me to strip and kneel at the foot of the bed with my head lowered and wrists behind my back. She then cuffed my hands tightly behind me and ordered me to service Her wonderful sex with my tongue. After making Her cum three times (and feeling such joy at being of service) J kissed me lightly, uncuffed me and we went to bed.
Before She drifted off to sleep, though, she purred, "well done, slave. We may have to try that again tomorrow..." in my ear. i was of course already hard as can be, but there was no relief for me that night.
True to Her word, J ordered me to the same position the following night. This time after i was cuffed i was blindfolded and clamps were put on my nipples. J then ordered me to stand and then started mercilessly teasing my cock while tugging and yanking on the chain connecting the clamps. As always, the mixtrue of pain and pleasure was incredibly intense, and soon i was visibly shaking and having a hard time even keeping my balance.
"Awwww....having a hard time there, dear?" J whispered wickedly.
"yes my Lady," i replied through dry, eager lips.
"Good," J replied with a laugh.
She kept teasing me for what seemed like forever and then removed my blindfold and clamps, grabbed my cock and stood before me, staring into my eyes.
"Hmmmmm...I think that's enough for tonight, slave. Don't you agree?" She smiled as She watched my eyes widen while She was still tormenting my hard cock.
"Whatever you say, my Lady," i replied...the only correct reply, even if i was SCREAMING inside.
"Good boy," J cooed, and then She uncuffed me and we went to sleep. It took me a while.
We have now made this a nightly ritual, though each night has been different. J has had me bring Her to multiple orgasms again, my eager mouth straining to please Her sex. One night She had me kiss every inch of Her feet and legs, smiling as i struggled to reach every inch with my hands bound.
Another night She blindfolded me, clamped me and then gave me a series of quick, sharp slaps to the face before forcing me down and flogging me to within an inch of my life, my face ground down on the carpet. That was obviously a night i had displeased Her...
And one glorious night J simply kissed me roughly, then tenderly, then ordered me to lie on the bed. i was allowed inside of Her and, after She came twice, allowed to explode inside of Her. And explode i did, one of the most intense orgasms i have had in QUITE a while. :-)
All in all it has been a lovely tradition, and a great way to spice up bedtime. Not sure how long it will last--that's up to J as always--but even if we stop doing it each night it's great to think She has yet another tool in Her ever-growing toolbox for keeping me Hers.
One night about a week ago when we were getting ready for bed J ordered me to strip and kneel at the foot of the bed with my head lowered and wrists behind my back. She then cuffed my hands tightly behind me and ordered me to service Her wonderful sex with my tongue. After making Her cum three times (and feeling such joy at being of service) J kissed me lightly, uncuffed me and we went to bed.
Before She drifted off to sleep, though, she purred, "well done, slave. We may have to try that again tomorrow..." in my ear. i was of course already hard as can be, but there was no relief for me that night.
True to Her word, J ordered me to the same position the following night. This time after i was cuffed i was blindfolded and clamps were put on my nipples. J then ordered me to stand and then started mercilessly teasing my cock while tugging and yanking on the chain connecting the clamps. As always, the mixtrue of pain and pleasure was incredibly intense, and soon i was visibly shaking and having a hard time even keeping my balance.
"Awwww....having a hard time there, dear?" J whispered wickedly.
"yes my Lady," i replied through dry, eager lips.
"Good," J replied with a laugh.
She kept teasing me for what seemed like forever and then removed my blindfold and clamps, grabbed my cock and stood before me, staring into my eyes.
"Hmmmmm...I think that's enough for tonight, slave. Don't you agree?" She smiled as She watched my eyes widen while She was still tormenting my hard cock.
"Whatever you say, my Lady," i replied...the only correct reply, even if i was SCREAMING inside.
"Good boy," J cooed, and then She uncuffed me and we went to sleep. It took me a while.
We have now made this a nightly ritual, though each night has been different. J has had me bring Her to multiple orgasms again, my eager mouth straining to please Her sex. One night She had me kiss every inch of Her feet and legs, smiling as i struggled to reach every inch with my hands bound.
Another night She blindfolded me, clamped me and then gave me a series of quick, sharp slaps to the face before forcing me down and flogging me to within an inch of my life, my face ground down on the carpet. That was obviously a night i had displeased Her...
And one glorious night J simply kissed me roughly, then tenderly, then ordered me to lie on the bed. i was allowed inside of Her and, after She came twice, allowed to explode inside of Her. And explode i did, one of the most intense orgasms i have had in QUITE a while. :-)
All in all it has been a lovely tradition, and a great way to spice up bedtime. Not sure how long it will last--that's up to J as always--but even if we stop doing it each night it's great to think She has yet another tool in Her ever-growing toolbox for keeping me Hers.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Onion Gag and Other Kitchen Fun
J and i were fixing dinner the other night when, as sometimes happens, the mood turned abruptly from the mundane to the marvelous. She slipped up behind me while i was chopping vegetables, grabbing me around the waist and whispering "kneel" softly, yet menacingly, into my ear. As is often the case, i was immediately...at attention, my pulse quickening as i slowly dropped to my knees.
i heard a drawer open. J then slowly pulled my wrists behind me, binding my hands behind me with a bunch of those tight rubberband things they wrap asparagus and other veggies in. While one doesn't seem like much, J used quite a few and i was easily, and helplessly, bound before i knew it.
She then ordered me to close my eyes and lower my head. i could hear the sounds of slicing as i knelt, trembling at what was to come. But what did come is something i could never have expected...
J told me to keep my eyes closed and then ordered me to "open wide." i complied and immediately felt Her stuff something into my mouth: an onion! She had sliced it to the perfect shape and size, and i immediately felt it push my lips open and stretch my jaw open. She then took a couple larger rubberbands and made sure the onion was snugly in place, and with my wrists still bound i had no chance to get it out.
My first thought was: oh my god! i almost immediately started tearing up as the strong taste and smell of onion was all-consuming. i like onions and all, but this was already feeling overwhelming...
J then told me to open my eyes. i did and tears were already flowing as i gazed up at my amazing Wife. She had that half-smirk of delight, with just a touch of evil, that i have come to adore so much. She laughed softly, asked "comfortable, dear?" with a smirk and leaned back to watch me struggle. i tried to muffle a reply, but J not only couldn't understand me, but quickly reminded me, "your opinion doesn't really matter anyway, right dear?" to which i humbly nodded.
With my onion gag still firmly in place and tears flowing freely down my face, J then ordered me to stand and bend over our butcher-block style table in the middle of the kitchen. i heard Her open another drawer and then...SMACK. By the sound and feel i figured it was the large wooden spoon i had felt, and when J held it before my eyes it was confirmed.
J proceeded to give me a swift, sound thrashing with the wooden spoon, clearly enjoying Herself. She then had me kneel before Her again and seemed to take special delight in the immense flow of tears streaming down my face. She lightly kissed each tear-stained cheek before giving me a playful slap on the cheek and laughing softly at my clear discomfort.
After a bit longer J removed the onion gag (i don't know if i have ever felt quite so relieved!) and ordered me to crawl behind Her up the stairs to our bedroom. The fun continued as i serviced Her every need, massaging Her body and then moving to giving Her multiple orgasms with my mouth and with Her favorite toy. She even had me lie on my back and be Her "other toy" while She vibed Herself to yet another climax. Eventually i was also allowed to cum (yahoo!) and we fell asleep in each other's arm for a quick post-coital nap. Hunger eventually drove us back to the kitchen, where dinner preparations went more...conventionally.
All in all a wonderful evening!
i heard a drawer open. J then slowly pulled my wrists behind me, binding my hands behind me with a bunch of those tight rubberband things they wrap asparagus and other veggies in. While one doesn't seem like much, J used quite a few and i was easily, and helplessly, bound before i knew it.
She then ordered me to close my eyes and lower my head. i could hear the sounds of slicing as i knelt, trembling at what was to come. But what did come is something i could never have expected...
J told me to keep my eyes closed and then ordered me to "open wide." i complied and immediately felt Her stuff something into my mouth: an onion! She had sliced it to the perfect shape and size, and i immediately felt it push my lips open and stretch my jaw open. She then took a couple larger rubberbands and made sure the onion was snugly in place, and with my wrists still bound i had no chance to get it out.
My first thought was: oh my god! i almost immediately started tearing up as the strong taste and smell of onion was all-consuming. i like onions and all, but this was already feeling overwhelming...
J then told me to open my eyes. i did and tears were already flowing as i gazed up at my amazing Wife. She had that half-smirk of delight, with just a touch of evil, that i have come to adore so much. She laughed softly, asked "comfortable, dear?" with a smirk and leaned back to watch me struggle. i tried to muffle a reply, but J not only couldn't understand me, but quickly reminded me, "your opinion doesn't really matter anyway, right dear?" to which i humbly nodded.
With my onion gag still firmly in place and tears flowing freely down my face, J then ordered me to stand and bend over our butcher-block style table in the middle of the kitchen. i heard Her open another drawer and then...SMACK. By the sound and feel i figured it was the large wooden spoon i had felt, and when J held it before my eyes it was confirmed.
J proceeded to give me a swift, sound thrashing with the wooden spoon, clearly enjoying Herself. She then had me kneel before Her again and seemed to take special delight in the immense flow of tears streaming down my face. She lightly kissed each tear-stained cheek before giving me a playful slap on the cheek and laughing softly at my clear discomfort.
After a bit longer J removed the onion gag (i don't know if i have ever felt quite so relieved!) and ordered me to crawl behind Her up the stairs to our bedroom. The fun continued as i serviced Her every need, massaging Her body and then moving to giving Her multiple orgasms with my mouth and with Her favorite toy. She even had me lie on my back and be Her "other toy" while She vibed Herself to yet another climax. Eventually i was also allowed to cum (yahoo!) and we fell asleep in each other's arm for a quick post-coital nap. Hunger eventually drove us back to the kitchen, where dinner preparations went more...conventionally.
All in all a wonderful evening!
Monday, August 27, 2012
List of 10 Things...
Now that J and i are back in the swing of things (after my unfortunate transgression and deserved punishment) Her wicked imagination continues to swirl, and my astonishment only grows at Her newest ideas.
We have been married for ten (amazing, wonderful, glorious!) years now, and even though it's nowhere near our anniversary--which is in April--J recently decided to honor those ten years by starting up some Lists of Ten Things. When She first proposed the idea i was (as is usually the case) some combination of confused, excited and a wee bit fearful as to what was to come, and as ever those were the right emotions.
The first List was Ten Things To Smack My Slave With In One Evening. J announced this list and then ordered me to fetch ten different things She could use to smack me with, and to do it quickly at Her direction.
Here's what we came up with:
1. Flogger
2. Wooden kitchen spoon
3. Belt (with buckle...ow.)
4. Extension cord
5. Soft leather glove (mmmmm, sensation change...)
6. Ping-pong paddle
7. Cane
8. Shoe (especially for the face)
9. Small tree branch (which brought back memories)
And...10. Broom handle
J had me gather all Ten Things and then we commenced to have a gleeful (for her), painful (for me) using all ten of those on all different parts of my body. i am still sore...
The next List came a couple days later, when J decided i needed to do Ten Things To Give Her Pleasure In One Evening. i was left to my own devices for most of this, and here's what i did:
1. Giving Her an hour-long foot rub with lotion
2. Drawing a bubble bath with lit candles surrounding the tub and me kneeling before Her, eyes lowered
3. Providing oral pleasure until She had multiple orgasms (natch)
4. Baking brownies wearing nothing but an apron and a collar
5. Organizing Her music on Her computer, phone and ipod so Her playlists are updated and all links were working
6. Researching local spa treatments and arranging an appointment for Her to receive an afternoon of bliss
7. Painting Her nails (fingers and toes), and making sure they all look perfect
8. Reading poetry aloud to Her from some of Her favorite poets
9. Cooking Her favorite food and serving as Her table while She enjoyed dining on the couch with a favorite movie on
10. Kissing every inch of Her wonderful body as She stretched out in bed before sleeping, massing those parts She demanded, rubbing warming lotion on others, and serving a couple *special* areas
Not too bad if i do say so myself...and i believe J was pleased. At the end She took my face in Her hands, kissed me gently and told me i was a wonderful slave. It was really quite romantic, actually.
i'm guessing both of these lists will be a part of our future, and i can only wonder what the next List of Ten will be. And J did mention that She would be open to any suggestions from readers, so...:-)
We have been married for ten (amazing, wonderful, glorious!) years now, and even though it's nowhere near our anniversary--which is in April--J recently decided to honor those ten years by starting up some Lists of Ten Things. When She first proposed the idea i was (as is usually the case) some combination of confused, excited and a wee bit fearful as to what was to come, and as ever those were the right emotions.
The first List was Ten Things To Smack My Slave With In One Evening. J announced this list and then ordered me to fetch ten different things She could use to smack me with, and to do it quickly at Her direction.
Here's what we came up with:
1. Flogger
2. Wooden kitchen spoon
3. Belt (with buckle...ow.)
4. Extension cord
5. Soft leather glove (mmmmm, sensation change...)
6. Ping-pong paddle
7. Cane
8. Shoe (especially for the face)
9. Small tree branch (which brought back memories)
And...10. Broom handle
J had me gather all Ten Things and then we commenced to have a gleeful (for her), painful (for me) using all ten of those on all different parts of my body. i am still sore...
The next List came a couple days later, when J decided i needed to do Ten Things To Give Her Pleasure In One Evening. i was left to my own devices for most of this, and here's what i did:
1. Giving Her an hour-long foot rub with lotion
2. Drawing a bubble bath with lit candles surrounding the tub and me kneeling before Her, eyes lowered
3. Providing oral pleasure until She had multiple orgasms (natch)
4. Baking brownies wearing nothing but an apron and a collar
5. Organizing Her music on Her computer, phone and ipod so Her playlists are updated and all links were working
6. Researching local spa treatments and arranging an appointment for Her to receive an afternoon of bliss
7. Painting Her nails (fingers and toes), and making sure they all look perfect
8. Reading poetry aloud to Her from some of Her favorite poets
9. Cooking Her favorite food and serving as Her table while She enjoyed dining on the couch with a favorite movie on
10. Kissing every inch of Her wonderful body as She stretched out in bed before sleeping, massing those parts She demanded, rubbing warming lotion on others, and serving a couple *special* areas
Not too bad if i do say so myself...and i believe J was pleased. At the end She took my face in Her hands, kissed me gently and told me i was a wonderful slave. It was really quite romantic, actually.
i'm guessing both of these lists will be a part of our future, and i can only wonder what the next List of Ten will be. And J did mention that She would be open to any suggestions from readers, so...:-)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Returning After a Hiatus (Which Was At Least Partly Forced and Also Involved Some Punishment)
As is easily seen from the date of my last post, it's been more than three months(!) since my last post here. There are a few reasons for the long hiatus, some of them pretty routine and some more...interesting.
To start, i traveled for much of May and June and just didn't spend a lot of time near a computer. While J and i did spend much of that time together--and did engage in some fun "on the road" femdom activities that may have made for interesting posts--it just honestly became a lower priority to write while traveling. i did sit down a few times to start writing a post, but inevitably i got distracted by something or just ended up a little too wiped out to write.
Then when i got back i was sick for about three weeks, nothing too serious but one of those long lingering kind of cold-flu things that just wipes you out. i did try and remain a good sub to J during that time, but it did severly limit our opportunities to further explore our ever-growing femdom relationship.
So those are the boring reasons...now for the more interesting one.
i must begin with a confession: i began this blog as a bit of a lark, and wasn't sure if i would ever actually post anything or keep it up for very long. Thus, i felt it unnecessary to inform my beautiful Wife and Goddess J of this blog's existence, at least at first. As i wrote a few more posts i still for whatever reason didn't feel like i needed to inform Her that i was writing about our lives, even if i felt a growing unease at the idea of keeping anything from Her. i was enjoying the writing, and was unsure how She would feel if i told Her about it, especially after i had let it go for a while already. And yet of course i absolutely should have told Her--after all, part of adoring one's amazing Wife is being fully open with Her about what you do, and making sure She approves. Not telling Her was completely unacceptable behavior, and as you have probably already guessed, this blog was a secret that did not stay hidden.
J discovered the existence of this blog a little while ago when i inadvertently left the Blogger page open on my computer one day before leaving for work. She has variable hours at Her job and it was a weekday that She actually had off, and so was home all day. Sometime during the day She must have tried to use my computer and found the page. i (of course) had no idea of Her discovery when i returned home that day...
As soon as i entered the house i could tell something was amiss. J must have heard me come up the driveway because She was waiting in the entryway for me, sitting on the stairs with a (very) stern look in Her eye. With a harsher voice than usual She immediately ordered me to strip and kneel, forehead on the ground. i did as commanded, still unsure as to what was up but with a growing fear inside me.
J stood up and placed Her foot on my head, squashing my face to the floor.
"So dear...you've been keeping something from me, haven't you?" She asked.
As ridiculous as it sounds, i tried to play coy. "What do you mean?" i asked foolishly.
J ground my nose into the carpet with Her foot, Her voice rising. "What do you mean, 'what do i mean!?'" She yelled, grinding my face harder. "What do you think i mean, you piece of shit?"
i was taken aback...J does not typically swear that much, even when in "Domme Mode." It was then that i knew...my heart sank and guts wrenched as i forced out a meager apology through the carpet, writhing as She ground my face deeper in.
"i'm sorry my Lady," i kept repeating feebly. J was unimpressed.
"You have been writing about us and felt like you didn't need to tell me, isn't that true?" She asked.
"Yes...and i'm so sorry!" i garbled out, my face still mashed under Her foot.
"That's right...you should be sorry. And I will make sure you are," J replied ominously. "Now get up."
She removed Her foot and allowed me to return to a kneeling position. She then commanded me to crawl up the stairs to the living room, kissing the ground beneath Her feet on the way as She sat on the couch with me kneeling before Her, eyes lowered.
"So...i have read your blog, slave. To start, I am upset with you for doing this without asking me, and for letting it go on without telling me. You should have asked me for permission first, and you are as of right now no longer allowed to write. Is that clear?"
"Yes my Lady" i stammered out.
J then outlined a series of punishments to give me a chance to make amends. She explained that She was not sure yet how She truly felt about the blog, but the one thing She did know was that my secrecy required immediate--and severe--repercussions.
To start, all internet and computer activities were suspended until J said otherwise.
i was also immediately put into chastity, with no release in sight, yet plenty of teasing and denial to torture me. And obviously lots of orgasms for J while i was not allowed any.
J then decided that since i had taken it upon myself to write, i could start writing for Her daily. Starting immediately i was given daily line writing. To take one example, for three straight days i was required to write this phrase 500 times a day: "i am lucky to be married to an amazing and very understanding woman, and am even luckier to be Her slave when She sees fit to allow me to serve. The fact that i started a blog without Her permission is totally inexcusable, and i deserve all the punishment She deems fit."
i was also forced to draw from the punishment box twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.
For some of the time i was in the penalty box J required that i kneel before Her and receive at least five sharp slaps to the face every time i entered or left Her company. This was not only coming and going for work in the mornings or evenings, but even every time i had to go to the bathroom or to the kitchen in the house as well. With each transition i knelt before Her and was slapped, whether coming or going.
i was not allowed to sleep with Her in the bed, and was either kept on the floor or on the couch.
Depending on Her mood, J also added some new punishments and activities to put me in my place. For a couple of days we kept a ball gag by the door and i was required to be naked and gagged for every second i was in the house. For a time i was also required to wear a pair of Her panties, which is not something we ever engage in during more playful femdom times, but is something i hate and thus made a good punishment.
There were of course lots of floggings and other activities as well. And i spent those couple of weeks completely and utterly in servitude to Her, tending to every need, buying Her flowers, chocolates and everything else She may want, doing every chore and really having no time for myself at all. While we have engaged in some periods like that in the past this was the first time we spent a prolonged stretch in a more "24/7" kind of mode. Not something we want to do long-term (at least i don't think so) but seemed right given my mistake and the need for some...calibration.
J eventually decided i had been properly put in my place and began to loosen many restrictions and lessen the punishments. Things got back to where they had been, with varying levels of femdom in our marriage depending on J's mood. i am deeply grateful for Her understanding, and for the effort She made to put me in my place and make sure i remembered where that place is. We also talked deeply about what i had done and worked it out through communication, which combined with all the punishments seems to have set things right.
In fact, i was surprised and deeply gratified a couple of days ago when J told me that now that She was able to look past my mistake She quite enjoyed reading the blog, and was warming to the idea. Obviously that led to Her giving me permission to return to blogging, which i am happy about not only because i enjoy it but because it makes me feel like J has forgiven me. She now (of course) reads and approves all posts, and seems to be entertaining the idea of posting Herself from time to time, which i hope happens.
So that's the story of why i've been away...i am deeply ashamed of my behavior but even more deeply grateful (as always) that i have been lucky enough to find such an amazing Wife who is so understanding and forgiving. i should be posting more frequently again, and as i said hopefully we will also see J making the occasional appearance here as well!
To start, i traveled for much of May and June and just didn't spend a lot of time near a computer. While J and i did spend much of that time together--and did engage in some fun "on the road" femdom activities that may have made for interesting posts--it just honestly became a lower priority to write while traveling. i did sit down a few times to start writing a post, but inevitably i got distracted by something or just ended up a little too wiped out to write.
Then when i got back i was sick for about three weeks, nothing too serious but one of those long lingering kind of cold-flu things that just wipes you out. i did try and remain a good sub to J during that time, but it did severly limit our opportunities to further explore our ever-growing femdom relationship.
So those are the boring reasons...now for the more interesting one.
i must begin with a confession: i began this blog as a bit of a lark, and wasn't sure if i would ever actually post anything or keep it up for very long. Thus, i felt it unnecessary to inform my beautiful Wife and Goddess J of this blog's existence, at least at first. As i wrote a few more posts i still for whatever reason didn't feel like i needed to inform Her that i was writing about our lives, even if i felt a growing unease at the idea of keeping anything from Her. i was enjoying the writing, and was unsure how She would feel if i told Her about it, especially after i had let it go for a while already. And yet of course i absolutely should have told Her--after all, part of adoring one's amazing Wife is being fully open with Her about what you do, and making sure She approves. Not telling Her was completely unacceptable behavior, and as you have probably already guessed, this blog was a secret that did not stay hidden.
J discovered the existence of this blog a little while ago when i inadvertently left the Blogger page open on my computer one day before leaving for work. She has variable hours at Her job and it was a weekday that She actually had off, and so was home all day. Sometime during the day She must have tried to use my computer and found the page. i (of course) had no idea of Her discovery when i returned home that day...
As soon as i entered the house i could tell something was amiss. J must have heard me come up the driveway because She was waiting in the entryway for me, sitting on the stairs with a (very) stern look in Her eye. With a harsher voice than usual She immediately ordered me to strip and kneel, forehead on the ground. i did as commanded, still unsure as to what was up but with a growing fear inside me.
J stood up and placed Her foot on my head, squashing my face to the floor.
"So dear...you've been keeping something from me, haven't you?" She asked.
As ridiculous as it sounds, i tried to play coy. "What do you mean?" i asked foolishly.
J ground my nose into the carpet with Her foot, Her voice rising. "What do you mean, 'what do i mean!?'" She yelled, grinding my face harder. "What do you think i mean, you piece of shit?"
i was taken aback...J does not typically swear that much, even when in "Domme Mode." It was then that i knew...my heart sank and guts wrenched as i forced out a meager apology through the carpet, writhing as She ground my face deeper in.
"i'm sorry my Lady," i kept repeating feebly. J was unimpressed.
"You have been writing about us and felt like you didn't need to tell me, isn't that true?" She asked.
"Yes...and i'm so sorry!" i garbled out, my face still mashed under Her foot.
"That's right...you should be sorry. And I will make sure you are," J replied ominously. "Now get up."
She removed Her foot and allowed me to return to a kneeling position. She then commanded me to crawl up the stairs to the living room, kissing the ground beneath Her feet on the way as She sat on the couch with me kneeling before Her, eyes lowered.
"So...i have read your blog, slave. To start, I am upset with you for doing this without asking me, and for letting it go on without telling me. You should have asked me for permission first, and you are as of right now no longer allowed to write. Is that clear?"
"Yes my Lady" i stammered out.
J then outlined a series of punishments to give me a chance to make amends. She explained that She was not sure yet how She truly felt about the blog, but the one thing She did know was that my secrecy required immediate--and severe--repercussions.
To start, all internet and computer activities were suspended until J said otherwise.
i was also immediately put into chastity, with no release in sight, yet plenty of teasing and denial to torture me. And obviously lots of orgasms for J while i was not allowed any.
J then decided that since i had taken it upon myself to write, i could start writing for Her daily. Starting immediately i was given daily line writing. To take one example, for three straight days i was required to write this phrase 500 times a day: "i am lucky to be married to an amazing and very understanding woman, and am even luckier to be Her slave when She sees fit to allow me to serve. The fact that i started a blog without Her permission is totally inexcusable, and i deserve all the punishment She deems fit."
i was also forced to draw from the punishment box twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.
For some of the time i was in the penalty box J required that i kneel before Her and receive at least five sharp slaps to the face every time i entered or left Her company. This was not only coming and going for work in the mornings or evenings, but even every time i had to go to the bathroom or to the kitchen in the house as well. With each transition i knelt before Her and was slapped, whether coming or going.
i was not allowed to sleep with Her in the bed, and was either kept on the floor or on the couch.
Depending on Her mood, J also added some new punishments and activities to put me in my place. For a couple of days we kept a ball gag by the door and i was required to be naked and gagged for every second i was in the house. For a time i was also required to wear a pair of Her panties, which is not something we ever engage in during more playful femdom times, but is something i hate and thus made a good punishment.
There were of course lots of floggings and other activities as well. And i spent those couple of weeks completely and utterly in servitude to Her, tending to every need, buying Her flowers, chocolates and everything else She may want, doing every chore and really having no time for myself at all. While we have engaged in some periods like that in the past this was the first time we spent a prolonged stretch in a more "24/7" kind of mode. Not something we want to do long-term (at least i don't think so) but seemed right given my mistake and the need for some...calibration.
J eventually decided i had been properly put in my place and began to loosen many restrictions and lessen the punishments. Things got back to where they had been, with varying levels of femdom in our marriage depending on J's mood. i am deeply grateful for Her understanding, and for the effort She made to put me in my place and make sure i remembered where that place is. We also talked deeply about what i had done and worked it out through communication, which combined with all the punishments seems to have set things right.
In fact, i was surprised and deeply gratified a couple of days ago when J told me that now that She was able to look past my mistake She quite enjoyed reading the blog, and was warming to the idea. Obviously that led to Her giving me permission to return to blogging, which i am happy about not only because i enjoy it but because it makes me feel like J has forgiven me. She now (of course) reads and approves all posts, and seems to be entertaining the idea of posting Herself from time to time, which i hope happens.
So that's the story of why i've been away...i am deeply ashamed of my behavior but even more deeply grateful (as always) that i have been lucky enough to find such an amazing Wife who is so understanding and forgiving. i should be posting more frequently again, and as i said hopefully we will also see J making the occasional appearance here as well!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Once An Hour, On The Hour
A quick update to J's devilish orders from afar, which I wrote about in my last post. Turns out that She needs to stay out of town a while longer (boo!), but She continues to send daily emails with requirements for me to carry out, and recently added an amazing new twist.
i now am required to perform a specific action on the hour for every waking hour of the day. J sends these along in Her daily email of commands, and has made it clear that there is absolutely no excuse for failing to fulfill this demand, no matter what may be happening at work or elsewhere. So far there have been two:
The first was to text Her the words "i adore my Mistress." This seemed like it wouldn't be too difficult, but turns out that there were a few cases where i either had to leave a meeting or, and this one immediately put me into a very subby headspace, text those words to J while sitting or talking with someone. Writing those words in the presence of other unknowing people quickened my heart rate almost immediately, in a delicious way...i felt my face flush, hopefully people didn't catch on...=-)
The second was to harshly slap each of my bare inner thighs twice. This, obviously, is a little trickier. Most of the time at work or out of the house i would be able to slip into a restroom to do this, after first making sure no one was around. But twice i had to pull over the car while driving and slide my pants down a bit to smack my thighs on the side of the road. And i found that i had to plan things like getting on the freeway or going for long walks around this new hourly requirement.
J has promised She has a few more in mind, and has even hinted that this tradition may continue once She is back next week. As much as it has been a major bummer to be apart, i remain in awe of my amazing Wife and the incredible imagination and control She continues to wield over me, even from thousands of miles away.
i now am required to perform a specific action on the hour for every waking hour of the day. J sends these along in Her daily email of commands, and has made it clear that there is absolutely no excuse for failing to fulfill this demand, no matter what may be happening at work or elsewhere. So far there have been two:
The first was to text Her the words "i adore my Mistress." This seemed like it wouldn't be too difficult, but turns out that there were a few cases where i either had to leave a meeting or, and this one immediately put me into a very subby headspace, text those words to J while sitting or talking with someone. Writing those words in the presence of other unknowing people quickened my heart rate almost immediately, in a delicious way...i felt my face flush, hopefully people didn't catch on...=-)
The second was to harshly slap each of my bare inner thighs twice. This, obviously, is a little trickier. Most of the time at work or out of the house i would be able to slip into a restroom to do this, after first making sure no one was around. But twice i had to pull over the car while driving and slide my pants down a bit to smack my thighs on the side of the road. And i found that i had to plan things like getting on the freeway or going for long walks around this new hourly requirement.
J has promised She has a few more in mind, and has even hinted that this tradition may continue once She is back next week. As much as it has been a major bummer to be apart, i remain in awe of my amazing Wife and the incredible imagination and control She continues to wield over me, even from thousands of miles away.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Orders from Afar...
J's been out of town for work for most of the last couple of weeks, and while that obviously means we can't play together, it doesn't mean we haven't been playing. Even from across the country She has been keeping me well in the palm of Her hand.
For starters, J left a series of daily orders to keep me fully in touch with the fact that i am still Her slave, even when we are apart. She designated a morning worship spot in our living room, and each morning before i did anything else i knelt there naked, nose to the floor for 20 full minutes. Once that was done i had permission to begin getting ready for the day.
Before i leave the house each day, J has ordered that i kneel and place one kiss on the toe of each of Her shoes in the closet while She is away. She has long ago had me line Her shoes in order in the closet and keep them arranged, so this is a matter of kneeling down and kissing each one as i crawl along the floor. It serves as a lovely last reminder before i leave the house of J's control, and helps me feel Her presence strongly before i leave our shared home.
J also ordered that each day while She is away i am to strip immediately upon returning home, kneeling on the cold tile of the entryway and kissing the floor 30 times, each time whispering "i belong to Mistress J." Then i am free to do whatever in the evenings, provided i keep Her house spotless and do not in any way touch my cock or masturbate.
We have had some wonderful phone sex, i had the pleasure of helping J cum one night while She was in Her hotel room which was wonderful. i have not been allowed release, which is of course driving me crazy but also of course up to J to provide release, or wait until She returns in a few days.
One thing She has started doing over the last few days is also sending me a daily email with additional tasks, requirements or commands. These have ranged from menial tasks at home like scrubbing the kitchen floor while clamped using only an old toothbrush to the more public and demeaning...each day is different, depending on her mood, and each email is full of surprises. Some examples:
-J ordered that i go into the bathroom at work (which is a single, pretty private bathroom) and spend 90 seconds masturbating, moving up and down my shaft and increasing the speed until i can barely stand it. i am not allowed to cum but must get as close as i can, and then go back to work as quickly as possible, ideally still hard and flushed from the experience.
-J has also ordered that i write "Property of J" on the shaft of my cock, and then write "J's slave" on each inner thigh. This meant a couple days of not going to the gym (for obvious reasons), as well as always knowing that those words were there while i was in a meeting, driving with a friend or wherever. She also ordered that i spend 15 minutes staring at the words that evening as soon as i got home as a reminder.
-i have also been made to figure out which compass direction J was from me, then find a spot that faces that direction on a wall and kneel there holding a poker chip against that wall for 20 minutes. i had to describe where it was in the house and She will verify it when She returns.
-J also ordered me to the grocery store while my nipples were clamped, and then had me pick out a number of humiliating items. i was also ordered to the mall while clamped to a Victoria's Secret, where J commanded i find the cutest sales woman and have her help me pick out a new bra for J while i was clamped. This was probably the one where i felt my heart race most of all, my face flush the whole time...though i suppose lots of men are like that at The Secret...wonder if they're all clamped, too?
-She has also twice emailed with a very specific time of day and a strict demand that i call Her at that exact minute. Whether She answered or not Her phone would log the call and She would know. Luckily i made both, though i did have to leave a meeting to make one of the calls. Talk about feeling fully controlled!
-i have also had multiple emails ordering me to be fully naked from the moment i enter the house until i leave, usually wearing some kind of accessory like my collar, nipple clamps, gates of hell or something else.
-She also ordered me to do something to myself we have never done together: rubberbanding. Specifically i had to kneel with legs spread and then slide a rubberband over each thigh. Then i had to pull each out and snap it back 10 times on the top of each thigh, then 10 times underneath. i must say i was amazed at how effective that was, especially as something i can easily be made to do to myself. J even called once to listen in, and seemed delighted with the loud SNAP! sounds, as well as with my whimpering...
i am (of course) ready to explode, and am in awe of how much control J is wielding from afar, and how much She seems to be enjoying it. When She left the daily commands it was already more than i expected, and the new surprise emails have been a new touch i did not expect. She gets back this weekend and i cannot wait to see Her for all kinds of reasons, not only because we truly do miss each other when we are apart, but also to kneel at Her feet and thank Her profusely for keeping me so fully in her lovely grasp while She was away.
For starters, J left a series of daily orders to keep me fully in touch with the fact that i am still Her slave, even when we are apart. She designated a morning worship spot in our living room, and each morning before i did anything else i knelt there naked, nose to the floor for 20 full minutes. Once that was done i had permission to begin getting ready for the day.
Before i leave the house each day, J has ordered that i kneel and place one kiss on the toe of each of Her shoes in the closet while She is away. She has long ago had me line Her shoes in order in the closet and keep them arranged, so this is a matter of kneeling down and kissing each one as i crawl along the floor. It serves as a lovely last reminder before i leave the house of J's control, and helps me feel Her presence strongly before i leave our shared home.
J also ordered that each day while She is away i am to strip immediately upon returning home, kneeling on the cold tile of the entryway and kissing the floor 30 times, each time whispering "i belong to Mistress J." Then i am free to do whatever in the evenings, provided i keep Her house spotless and do not in any way touch my cock or masturbate.
We have had some wonderful phone sex, i had the pleasure of helping J cum one night while She was in Her hotel room which was wonderful. i have not been allowed release, which is of course driving me crazy but also of course up to J to provide release, or wait until She returns in a few days.
One thing She has started doing over the last few days is also sending me a daily email with additional tasks, requirements or commands. These have ranged from menial tasks at home like scrubbing the kitchen floor while clamped using only an old toothbrush to the more public and demeaning...each day is different, depending on her mood, and each email is full of surprises. Some examples:
-J ordered that i go into the bathroom at work (which is a single, pretty private bathroom) and spend 90 seconds masturbating, moving up and down my shaft and increasing the speed until i can barely stand it. i am not allowed to cum but must get as close as i can, and then go back to work as quickly as possible, ideally still hard and flushed from the experience.
-J has also ordered that i write "Property of J" on the shaft of my cock, and then write "J's slave" on each inner thigh. This meant a couple days of not going to the gym (for obvious reasons), as well as always knowing that those words were there while i was in a meeting, driving with a friend or wherever. She also ordered that i spend 15 minutes staring at the words that evening as soon as i got home as a reminder.
-i have also been made to figure out which compass direction J was from me, then find a spot that faces that direction on a wall and kneel there holding a poker chip against that wall for 20 minutes. i had to describe where it was in the house and She will verify it when She returns.
-J also ordered me to the grocery store while my nipples were clamped, and then had me pick out a number of humiliating items. i was also ordered to the mall while clamped to a Victoria's Secret, where J commanded i find the cutest sales woman and have her help me pick out a new bra for J while i was clamped. This was probably the one where i felt my heart race most of all, my face flush the whole time...though i suppose lots of men are like that at The Secret...wonder if they're all clamped, too?
-She has also twice emailed with a very specific time of day and a strict demand that i call Her at that exact minute. Whether She answered or not Her phone would log the call and She would know. Luckily i made both, though i did have to leave a meeting to make one of the calls. Talk about feeling fully controlled!
-i have also had multiple emails ordering me to be fully naked from the moment i enter the house until i leave, usually wearing some kind of accessory like my collar, nipple clamps, gates of hell or something else.
-She also ordered me to do something to myself we have never done together: rubberbanding. Specifically i had to kneel with legs spread and then slide a rubberband over each thigh. Then i had to pull each out and snap it back 10 times on the top of each thigh, then 10 times underneath. i must say i was amazed at how effective that was, especially as something i can easily be made to do to myself. J even called once to listen in, and seemed delighted with the loud SNAP! sounds, as well as with my whimpering...
i am (of course) ready to explode, and am in awe of how much control J is wielding from afar, and how much She seems to be enjoying it. When She left the daily commands it was already more than i expected, and the new surprise emails have been a new touch i did not expect. She gets back this weekend and i cannot wait to see Her for all kinds of reasons, not only because we truly do miss each other when we are apart, but also to kneel at Her feet and thank Her profusely for keeping me so fully in her lovely grasp while She was away.
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