As is easily seen from the date of my last post, it's been more than three months(!) since my last post here. There are a few reasons for the long hiatus, some of them pretty routine and some more...interesting.
To start, i traveled for much of May and June and just didn't spend a lot of time near a computer. While J and i did spend much of that time together--and did engage in some fun "on the road" femdom activities that may have made for interesting posts--it just honestly became a lower priority to write while traveling. i did sit down a few times to start writing a post, but inevitably i got distracted by something or just ended up a little too wiped out to write.
Then when i got back i was sick for about three weeks, nothing too serious but one of those long lingering kind of cold-flu things that just wipes you out. i did try and remain a good sub to J during that time, but it did severly limit our opportunities to further explore our ever-growing femdom relationship.
So those are the boring reasons...now for the more interesting one.
i must begin with a confession: i began this blog as a bit of a lark, and wasn't sure if i would ever actually post anything or keep it up for very long. Thus, i felt it unnecessary to inform my beautiful Wife and Goddess J of this blog's existence, at least at first. As i wrote a few more posts i still for whatever reason didn't feel like i needed to inform Her that i was writing about our lives, even if i felt a growing unease at the idea of keeping anything from Her. i was enjoying the writing, and was unsure how She would feel if i told Her about it, especially after i had let it go for a while already. And yet of course i absolutely should have told Her--after all, part of adoring one's amazing Wife is being fully open with Her about what you do, and making sure She approves. Not telling Her was completely unacceptable behavior, and as you have probably already guessed, this blog was a secret that did not stay hidden.
J discovered the existence of this blog a little while ago when i inadvertently left the Blogger page open on my computer one day before leaving for work. She has variable hours at Her job and it was a weekday that She actually had off, and so was home all day. Sometime during the day She must have tried to use my computer and found the page. i (of course) had no idea of Her discovery when i returned home that day...
As soon as i entered the house i could tell something was amiss. J must have heard me come up the driveway because She was waiting in the entryway for me, sitting on the stairs with a (very) stern look in Her eye. With a harsher voice than usual She immediately ordered me to strip and kneel, forehead on the ground. i did as commanded, still unsure as to what was up but with a growing fear inside me.
J stood up and placed Her foot on my head, squashing my face to the floor.
"So dear...you've been keeping something from me, haven't you?" She asked.
As ridiculous as it sounds, i tried to play coy. "What do you mean?" i asked foolishly.
J ground my nose into the carpet with Her foot, Her voice rising. "What do you mean, 'what do i mean!?'" She yelled, grinding my face harder. "What do you think i mean, you piece of shit?"
i was taken aback...J does not typically swear that much, even when in "Domme Mode." It was then that i knew...my heart sank and guts wrenched as i forced out a meager apology through the carpet, writhing as She ground my face deeper in.
"i'm sorry my Lady," i kept repeating feebly. J was unimpressed.
"You have been writing about us and felt like you didn't need to tell me, isn't that true?" She asked.
"Yes...and i'm so sorry!" i garbled out, my face still mashed under Her foot.
"That's right...you should be sorry. And I will make sure you are," J replied ominously. "Now get up."
She removed Her foot and allowed me to return to a kneeling position. She then commanded me to crawl up the stairs to the living room, kissing the ground beneath Her feet on the way as She sat on the couch with me kneeling before Her, eyes lowered.
"So...i have read your blog, slave. To start, I am upset with you for doing this without asking me, and for letting it go on without telling me. You should have asked me for permission first, and you are as of right now no longer allowed to write. Is that clear?"
"Yes my Lady" i stammered out.
J then outlined a series of punishments to give me a chance to make amends. She explained that She was not sure yet how She truly felt about the blog, but the one thing She did know was that my secrecy required immediate--and severe--repercussions.
To start, all internet and computer activities were suspended until J said otherwise.
i was also immediately put into chastity, with no release in sight, yet plenty of teasing and denial to torture me. And obviously lots of orgasms for J while i was not allowed any.
J then decided that since i had taken it upon myself to write, i could start writing for Her daily. Starting immediately i was given daily line writing. To take one example, for three straight days i was required to write this phrase 500 times a day: "i am lucky to be married to an amazing and very understanding woman, and am even luckier to be Her slave when She sees fit to allow me to serve. The fact that i started a blog without Her permission is totally inexcusable, and i deserve all the punishment She deems fit."
i was also forced to draw from the punishment box twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.
For some of the time i was in the penalty box J required that i kneel before Her and receive at least five sharp slaps to the face every time i entered or left Her company. This was not only coming and going for work in the mornings or evenings, but even every time i had to go to the bathroom or to the kitchen in the house as well. With each transition i knelt before Her and was slapped, whether coming or going.
i was not allowed to sleep with Her in the bed, and was either kept on the floor or on the couch.
Depending on Her mood, J also added some new punishments and activities to put me in my place. For a couple of days we kept a ball gag by the door and i was required to be naked and gagged for every second i was in the house. For a time i was also required to wear a pair of Her panties, which is not something we ever engage in during more playful femdom times, but is something i hate and thus made a good punishment.
There were of course lots of floggings and other activities as well. And i spent those couple of weeks completely and utterly in servitude to Her, tending to every need, buying Her flowers, chocolates and everything else She may want, doing every chore and really having no time for myself at all. While we have engaged in some periods like that in the past this was the first time we spent a prolonged stretch in a more "24/7" kind of mode. Not something we want to do long-term (at least i don't think so) but seemed right given my mistake and the need for some...calibration.
J eventually decided i had been properly put in my place and began to loosen many restrictions and lessen the punishments. Things got back to where they had been, with varying levels of femdom in our marriage depending on J's mood. i am deeply grateful for Her understanding, and for the effort She made to put me in my place and make sure i remembered where that place is. We also talked deeply about what i had done and worked it out through communication, which combined with all the punishments seems to have set things right.
In fact, i was surprised and deeply gratified a couple of days ago when J told me that now that She was able to look past my mistake She quite enjoyed reading the blog, and was warming to the idea. Obviously that led to Her giving me permission to return to blogging, which i am happy about not only because i enjoy it but because it makes me feel like J has forgiven me. She now (of course) reads and approves all posts, and seems to be entertaining the idea of posting Herself from time to time, which i hope happens.
So that's the story of why i've been away...i am deeply ashamed of my behavior but even more deeply grateful (as always) that i have been lucky enough to find such an amazing Wife who is so understanding and forgiving. i should be posting more frequently again, and as i said hopefully we will also see J making the occasional appearance here as well!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Once An Hour, On The Hour
A quick update to J's devilish orders from afar, which I wrote about in my last post. Turns out that She needs to stay out of town a while longer (boo!), but She continues to send daily emails with requirements for me to carry out, and recently added an amazing new twist.
i now am required to perform a specific action on the hour for every waking hour of the day. J sends these along in Her daily email of commands, and has made it clear that there is absolutely no excuse for failing to fulfill this demand, no matter what may be happening at work or elsewhere. So far there have been two:
The first was to text Her the words "i adore my Mistress." This seemed like it wouldn't be too difficult, but turns out that there were a few cases where i either had to leave a meeting or, and this one immediately put me into a very subby headspace, text those words to J while sitting or talking with someone. Writing those words in the presence of other unknowing people quickened my heart rate almost immediately, in a delicious way...i felt my face flush, hopefully people didn't catch on...=-)
The second was to harshly slap each of my bare inner thighs twice. This, obviously, is a little trickier. Most of the time at work or out of the house i would be able to slip into a restroom to do this, after first making sure no one was around. But twice i had to pull over the car while driving and slide my pants down a bit to smack my thighs on the side of the road. And i found that i had to plan things like getting on the freeway or going for long walks around this new hourly requirement.
J has promised She has a few more in mind, and has even hinted that this tradition may continue once She is back next week. As much as it has been a major bummer to be apart, i remain in awe of my amazing Wife and the incredible imagination and control She continues to wield over me, even from thousands of miles away.
i now am required to perform a specific action on the hour for every waking hour of the day. J sends these along in Her daily email of commands, and has made it clear that there is absolutely no excuse for failing to fulfill this demand, no matter what may be happening at work or elsewhere. So far there have been two:
The first was to text Her the words "i adore my Mistress." This seemed like it wouldn't be too difficult, but turns out that there were a few cases where i either had to leave a meeting or, and this one immediately put me into a very subby headspace, text those words to J while sitting or talking with someone. Writing those words in the presence of other unknowing people quickened my heart rate almost immediately, in a delicious way...i felt my face flush, hopefully people didn't catch on...=-)
The second was to harshly slap each of my bare inner thighs twice. This, obviously, is a little trickier. Most of the time at work or out of the house i would be able to slip into a restroom to do this, after first making sure no one was around. But twice i had to pull over the car while driving and slide my pants down a bit to smack my thighs on the side of the road. And i found that i had to plan things like getting on the freeway or going for long walks around this new hourly requirement.
J has promised She has a few more in mind, and has even hinted that this tradition may continue once She is back next week. As much as it has been a major bummer to be apart, i remain in awe of my amazing Wife and the incredible imagination and control She continues to wield over me, even from thousands of miles away.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Orders from Afar...
J's been out of town for work for most of the last couple of weeks, and while that obviously means we can't play together, it doesn't mean we haven't been playing. Even from across the country She has been keeping me well in the palm of Her hand.
For starters, J left a series of daily orders to keep me fully in touch with the fact that i am still Her slave, even when we are apart. She designated a morning worship spot in our living room, and each morning before i did anything else i knelt there naked, nose to the floor for 20 full minutes. Once that was done i had permission to begin getting ready for the day.
Before i leave the house each day, J has ordered that i kneel and place one kiss on the toe of each of Her shoes in the closet while She is away. She has long ago had me line Her shoes in order in the closet and keep them arranged, so this is a matter of kneeling down and kissing each one as i crawl along the floor. It serves as a lovely last reminder before i leave the house of J's control, and helps me feel Her presence strongly before i leave our shared home.
J also ordered that each day while She is away i am to strip immediately upon returning home, kneeling on the cold tile of the entryway and kissing the floor 30 times, each time whispering "i belong to Mistress J." Then i am free to do whatever in the evenings, provided i keep Her house spotless and do not in any way touch my cock or masturbate.
We have had some wonderful phone sex, i had the pleasure of helping J cum one night while She was in Her hotel room which was wonderful. i have not been allowed release, which is of course driving me crazy but also of course up to J to provide release, or wait until She returns in a few days.
One thing She has started doing over the last few days is also sending me a daily email with additional tasks, requirements or commands. These have ranged from menial tasks at home like scrubbing the kitchen floor while clamped using only an old toothbrush to the more public and demeaning...each day is different, depending on her mood, and each email is full of surprises. Some examples:
-J ordered that i go into the bathroom at work (which is a single, pretty private bathroom) and spend 90 seconds masturbating, moving up and down my shaft and increasing the speed until i can barely stand it. i am not allowed to cum but must get as close as i can, and then go back to work as quickly as possible, ideally still hard and flushed from the experience.
-J has also ordered that i write "Property of J" on the shaft of my cock, and then write "J's slave" on each inner thigh. This meant a couple days of not going to the gym (for obvious reasons), as well as always knowing that those words were there while i was in a meeting, driving with a friend or wherever. She also ordered that i spend 15 minutes staring at the words that evening as soon as i got home as a reminder.
-i have also been made to figure out which compass direction J was from me, then find a spot that faces that direction on a wall and kneel there holding a poker chip against that wall for 20 minutes. i had to describe where it was in the house and She will verify it when She returns.
-J also ordered me to the grocery store while my nipples were clamped, and then had me pick out a number of humiliating items. i was also ordered to the mall while clamped to a Victoria's Secret, where J commanded i find the cutest sales woman and have her help me pick out a new bra for J while i was clamped. This was probably the one where i felt my heart race most of all, my face flush the whole time...though i suppose lots of men are like that at The Secret...wonder if they're all clamped, too?
-She has also twice emailed with a very specific time of day and a strict demand that i call Her at that exact minute. Whether She answered or not Her phone would log the call and She would know. Luckily i made both, though i did have to leave a meeting to make one of the calls. Talk about feeling fully controlled!
-i have also had multiple emails ordering me to be fully naked from the moment i enter the house until i leave, usually wearing some kind of accessory like my collar, nipple clamps, gates of hell or something else.
-She also ordered me to do something to myself we have never done together: rubberbanding. Specifically i had to kneel with legs spread and then slide a rubberband over each thigh. Then i had to pull each out and snap it back 10 times on the top of each thigh, then 10 times underneath. i must say i was amazed at how effective that was, especially as something i can easily be made to do to myself. J even called once to listen in, and seemed delighted with the loud SNAP! sounds, as well as with my whimpering...
i am (of course) ready to explode, and am in awe of how much control J is wielding from afar, and how much She seems to be enjoying it. When She left the daily commands it was already more than i expected, and the new surprise emails have been a new touch i did not expect. She gets back this weekend and i cannot wait to see Her for all kinds of reasons, not only because we truly do miss each other when we are apart, but also to kneel at Her feet and thank Her profusely for keeping me so fully in her lovely grasp while She was away.
For starters, J left a series of daily orders to keep me fully in touch with the fact that i am still Her slave, even when we are apart. She designated a morning worship spot in our living room, and each morning before i did anything else i knelt there naked, nose to the floor for 20 full minutes. Once that was done i had permission to begin getting ready for the day.
Before i leave the house each day, J has ordered that i kneel and place one kiss on the toe of each of Her shoes in the closet while She is away. She has long ago had me line Her shoes in order in the closet and keep them arranged, so this is a matter of kneeling down and kissing each one as i crawl along the floor. It serves as a lovely last reminder before i leave the house of J's control, and helps me feel Her presence strongly before i leave our shared home.
J also ordered that each day while She is away i am to strip immediately upon returning home, kneeling on the cold tile of the entryway and kissing the floor 30 times, each time whispering "i belong to Mistress J." Then i am free to do whatever in the evenings, provided i keep Her house spotless and do not in any way touch my cock or masturbate.
We have had some wonderful phone sex, i had the pleasure of helping J cum one night while She was in Her hotel room which was wonderful. i have not been allowed release, which is of course driving me crazy but also of course up to J to provide release, or wait until She returns in a few days.
One thing She has started doing over the last few days is also sending me a daily email with additional tasks, requirements or commands. These have ranged from menial tasks at home like scrubbing the kitchen floor while clamped using only an old toothbrush to the more public and demeaning...each day is different, depending on her mood, and each email is full of surprises. Some examples:
-J ordered that i go into the bathroom at work (which is a single, pretty private bathroom) and spend 90 seconds masturbating, moving up and down my shaft and increasing the speed until i can barely stand it. i am not allowed to cum but must get as close as i can, and then go back to work as quickly as possible, ideally still hard and flushed from the experience.
-J has also ordered that i write "Property of J" on the shaft of my cock, and then write "J's slave" on each inner thigh. This meant a couple days of not going to the gym (for obvious reasons), as well as always knowing that those words were there while i was in a meeting, driving with a friend or wherever. She also ordered that i spend 15 minutes staring at the words that evening as soon as i got home as a reminder.
-i have also been made to figure out which compass direction J was from me, then find a spot that faces that direction on a wall and kneel there holding a poker chip against that wall for 20 minutes. i had to describe where it was in the house and She will verify it when She returns.
-J also ordered me to the grocery store while my nipples were clamped, and then had me pick out a number of humiliating items. i was also ordered to the mall while clamped to a Victoria's Secret, where J commanded i find the cutest sales woman and have her help me pick out a new bra for J while i was clamped. This was probably the one where i felt my heart race most of all, my face flush the whole time...though i suppose lots of men are like that at The Secret...wonder if they're all clamped, too?
-She has also twice emailed with a very specific time of day and a strict demand that i call Her at that exact minute. Whether She answered or not Her phone would log the call and She would know. Luckily i made both, though i did have to leave a meeting to make one of the calls. Talk about feeling fully controlled!
-i have also had multiple emails ordering me to be fully naked from the moment i enter the house until i leave, usually wearing some kind of accessory like my collar, nipple clamps, gates of hell or something else.
-She also ordered me to do something to myself we have never done together: rubberbanding. Specifically i had to kneel with legs spread and then slide a rubberband over each thigh. Then i had to pull each out and snap it back 10 times on the top of each thigh, then 10 times underneath. i must say i was amazed at how effective that was, especially as something i can easily be made to do to myself. J even called once to listen in, and seemed delighted with the loud SNAP! sounds, as well as with my whimpering...
i am (of course) ready to explode, and am in awe of how much control J is wielding from afar, and how much She seems to be enjoying it. When She left the daily commands it was already more than i expected, and the new surprise emails have been a new touch i did not expect. She gets back this weekend and i cannot wait to see Her for all kinds of reasons, not only because we truly do miss each other when we are apart, but also to kneel at Her feet and thank Her profusely for keeping me so fully in her lovely grasp while She was away.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Femdom Clue!
We are both great fans of board games, whether intricate new games like Settlers of Catan or the classics we grew up with. We have spent many a night with good friends over a board game, and have a bunch of games stacked up in one of our closets. i never suspected they would come in handy in our new marriage dynamic, but the imagination is a wondrous thing...=-)
We were having one of those days where you look around your house and figure out what you want to give away to Goodwill, and we pulled out the game Clue from forever ago. You all remember Clue, right? Where you have to move around the board and eventually figure out who killed "Mr. Boddy" in what room and with which weapon. There are six characters, six weapons and nine rooms, so you'd eventually figure out that it was something like "Professor Plum with the revolver in the library."
We realized we hadn't played Clue for years and were considering giving it away when J got this little smirk on her face and chuckled to Herself.
"What?" i asked, having no idea what was to come.
"I just had a thought...it could be fun to make a Domme-sub version of Clue. You know, with different 'weapons' and characters and all that."
i laughed, and then the imagination immediately started whirring. J's was already in high gear from the look on Her face. Obviously, the 'weapons' were the place to start, in the original game there was the candlestick, rope, revolver, lead pipe, wrench and knife. While some of those might make for useful Domme tools, we figured we had six replacements at the ready.
It didn't take long to settle on the flogger, paddle, nipple clamps, vibrating butt plug and gates of hell (as a mild cbt device...something more sinister is our next "to buy" item). We kept the rope for the sake of continuity...and because J is growing more and more fond of binding me up with rope.
For the rooms, we figured the rooms of our house would work just fine, so we decided on the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, garage, basement, dining room, den/guest room and hallway.
We're still working on the characters, for now we just settled on the Domme, who obviously gets to use the weapons on Her own "Mr. Body," (me, though not in a murderous way). =-) We started kicking around ideas for new characters but we've never really been all that into roleplay as far as pretending to be nurse-patient or teacher-student or something like that so we put that aside for the time being. i can see how that could be fun, but it just hasn't really been a big fantasy for either of us. Perhaps the magic of Clue will bring some of that out. Come to think of it, J has mentioned cowboys a couple times recently, and i'm sure She'd love to hogtie one of those one day...maybe i should start looking for a hat.
We made some rudimentary cards and rather than try and set up the board or anything we just played a couple of hands for fun. This was basically me drawing a weapon and room and then the two of us going there so J could do Her worst. For example, J with the flogger in the kitchen was a good one, as was J with the rope in the hallway, J with the nipple clamps in the garage, J with the flogger in the bedroom (an oldie but a goodie), J with the paddle in the bathroom (palms down on the toilet! that was a new one...) and J with the butt plug in the kitchen. You get the idea.
We are still kicking around more ideas (and any suggestions in comments are more than welcome!) but for now it's been kind of a fun way to spark some spontaneous play. i do find myself wondering how i'll feel if and when we ever play standard old Clue with friends ever again...perhaps a "Miss Scarlett with the flogger in the conservatory" will accidentally slip out. Oh well, the perils of a femdom marriage i suppose...
I'll also say that we started digging through some other board games as well...it's been incredibly fun to think about some of the old classics in a new way, and i'll be sure to share some other discoveries in the future.=-)
In the meantime, any ideas, suggestions or thoughts are welcome in comments. Are there any games you have re-imagined? i'd love to hear any suggestions...
We were having one of those days where you look around your house and figure out what you want to give away to Goodwill, and we pulled out the game Clue from forever ago. You all remember Clue, right? Where you have to move around the board and eventually figure out who killed "Mr. Boddy" in what room and with which weapon. There are six characters, six weapons and nine rooms, so you'd eventually figure out that it was something like "Professor Plum with the revolver in the library."
We realized we hadn't played Clue for years and were considering giving it away when J got this little smirk on her face and chuckled to Herself.
"What?" i asked, having no idea what was to come.
"I just had a thought...it could be fun to make a Domme-sub version of Clue. You know, with different 'weapons' and characters and all that."
i laughed, and then the imagination immediately started whirring. J's was already in high gear from the look on Her face. Obviously, the 'weapons' were the place to start, in the original game there was the candlestick, rope, revolver, lead pipe, wrench and knife. While some of those might make for useful Domme tools, we figured we had six replacements at the ready.
It didn't take long to settle on the flogger, paddle, nipple clamps, vibrating butt plug and gates of hell (as a mild cbt device...something more sinister is our next "to buy" item). We kept the rope for the sake of continuity...and because J is growing more and more fond of binding me up with rope.
For the rooms, we figured the rooms of our house would work just fine, so we decided on the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, garage, basement, dining room, den/guest room and hallway.
We're still working on the characters, for now we just settled on the Domme, who obviously gets to use the weapons on Her own "Mr. Body," (me, though not in a murderous way). =-) We started kicking around ideas for new characters but we've never really been all that into roleplay as far as pretending to be nurse-patient or teacher-student or something like that so we put that aside for the time being. i can see how that could be fun, but it just hasn't really been a big fantasy for either of us. Perhaps the magic of Clue will bring some of that out. Come to think of it, J has mentioned cowboys a couple times recently, and i'm sure She'd love to hogtie one of those one day...maybe i should start looking for a hat.
We made some rudimentary cards and rather than try and set up the board or anything we just played a couple of hands for fun. This was basically me drawing a weapon and room and then the two of us going there so J could do Her worst. For example, J with the flogger in the kitchen was a good one, as was J with the rope in the hallway, J with the nipple clamps in the garage, J with the flogger in the bedroom (an oldie but a goodie), J with the paddle in the bathroom (palms down on the toilet! that was a new one...) and J with the butt plug in the kitchen. You get the idea.
We are still kicking around more ideas (and any suggestions in comments are more than welcome!) but for now it's been kind of a fun way to spark some spontaneous play. i do find myself wondering how i'll feel if and when we ever play standard old Clue with friends ever again...perhaps a "Miss Scarlett with the flogger in the conservatory" will accidentally slip out. Oh well, the perils of a femdom marriage i suppose...
I'll also say that we started digging through some other board games as well...it's been incredibly fun to think about some of the old classics in a new way, and i'll be sure to share some other discoveries in the future.=-)
In the meantime, any ideas, suggestions or thoughts are welcome in comments. Are there any games you have re-imagined? i'd love to hear any suggestions...
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A Day Beneath Her
Last weekend we had our first free day together in a loooong
time. And as has been Her custom, J found a good way to put it to use. While i have (of course!) still been providing J with Her nightly foot rubs, things have been kind of busy recently, and quality time together has been lacking. We have managed to have some lovely small moments here and there, usually first thing in the morning or late at night, but life has been a bit too busy these last couple weeks for much more. But last weekend we made up for some lost time. =-)
To begin I should mention that, as much as She wields great power over me, J is only about 5'3", while i am more like 6'2". Though with the new emergence as a Domme She is also somehow able to seem like She is seven feet tall just through the tone of Her voice or a look in Her eye. She also never hesitates to get me down on my knees or on all fours as suits Her purposes.
For Saturday, though, She had something a little different in mind...
J was already up when i awoke, and as i sleepily stumbled into the living room She smiled, greeting me with a devilish "good morning, dear," and pointed to Her feet. She stretched languidly back on the couch wearing nothing but one of my old t-shirts, and i immediately set to work massaging Her feet. She looked down at me with what has become a familiar wicked smile.
"Now slave, I want to try something out today. It will require diligence on your part, but I think you can handle it."
"Yes, my Lady," i smiled, eager to hear what was coming, my hands still massaging and caressing Her lovely feet.
"As you know, I enjoy seeing you down at my feet, and often like seeing you wriggling on the ground or crawling on all fours. I think I'd like to see more of that in fact. So for today, you are to keep yourself lower than me until I say otherwise. That means your eyes should always be lower than my eyes. Your arms lower than my arms. You whole body, in fact, always beneath me. Do you understand?"
i quickly responded "yes," wondering what was to come.
"Good. Now go and fetch your collar, and keep the toy bag out where we can easily get to it."
i stood up, and immediately realized it was a mistake. The harsh look from J was instant confirmation.
"You didn't last ten seconds! Get over here, and do it properly," J seethed.
i dropped to all fours and crawled, careful to keep my head low as i approached.
"Better. Now kneel, facing me." i did as ordered and almost immediately felt a SMACK across the cheek. J's slap stung, tears welling up on my face as She smacked me again across the other cheek.
"Now what did I say?"
"That i am supposed to stay below You today, my Lady," i replied, shaking a little.
"And what did you do?"
"i...i failed, my Lady."
"Yes you did. Now close those eyes and keep that face still."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Four quick slaps and i could feel the heat on my cheeks, my eyes burning with tears of pain and shame.
"Will you listen now?" She demanded.
"Yes, my Lady" i breathed, eager to make amends and feeling incredibly submissive.
"Good. Now go fetch your collar. And bring the toy bag as well."
i crawled on all fours, J calling "head down!" as She does sometimes, an order to crawl with my nose as close to the floor as possible. i returned with the collar out and presented it to J, careful to keep my head low.
She held out the collar for me to kiss once, then slid it around my neck, clasping it shut. She then reached into the toy bag and pulled out one ankle cuff and a short length of rope. i stared confusedly as She slid the ankle cuff around Her own ankle, and then ordered me down by that foot.
"Now slave, we are going to start by having you worship the ground I walk on for a bit. Tie the rope to the ring on my ankle, and then to the ring in your collar. It should be short enough to keep your head lowered."
i complied with trembling fingers and J arose, looking down at me now bound to Her right foot.
"Good," She grinned. "Now let's take you for a walk. And you are to kiss the ground i walk on after each step, and not fall behind. Got it?"
"Yes, my Lady," i replied breathlessly.
J picked up our long thin-stringed flogger and set off. At first it was difficult to keep up with Her, especially as i was planting a tender kiss on each place where Her lovely foot had just trod. A little experimenting with the pace however, and more than a few stinging lashes with the flogger on my back and ass, got me in step.
J seemed delighted as She dragged me around the house, across the carpet, the merciless tile of the kitchen and bathroom, and up and down the stairs more than a few times. i was gasping and straining after a short while, my knees burning and body tensed, my mind focused on nothing but worshiping the small piece of floor in front of me that J had just stepped on.
After a time J returned to the couch and ordered me to untie the rope connecting my neck to Her ankle. She then had me crawl over and fetch Her a drink, then kneel beside Her holding it as a kind of human end table as She surfed the internet for a while.
Then She brought me back to the bedroom, where She had me lay down. She crawled on top of me, holding a set of nipple clamps and Her pink vibrator. J clamped me tightly, tugging the chain to make sure my nipples were firmly attached (they were) and then slid Her sex up and down my yearning cock, teasing me as She allowed me to enter Her. She sat back grinning.
"Happy, slave?" She asked, yanking the chain and bringing an audible yelp out of me.
"Yes, my Lady. i love to be beneath You," i breathed.
She smiled. "I know you do. And I love to see you there. But you won't be cumming yet. Just me," She smiled again, grabbed the nipple clamp chain like a set of horse reins and began using Her vibe. Gazing up at Her as She closed Her eye in pleasure, the shiny steel chain entwined in Her fingers as She delivered pain while She was pleasured, was exquisite. It did not take long for Her to begin bucking Her hips, and She screamed as the first orgasm came.
As She caught Her breath J continued to twirl and tug and yank the chain, delighting in my squirming. My yelps of pain, wide eyes and sharp breathing seemed to arouse Her even more, as two more orgasms soon followed before J deemed Herself satiated. As She crawled off me She gave the chain one more tug before removing the clamps.
"Mmmmmm...that was lovely. Now let's see...should we let you cum now?" J asked.
"Only if You wish, my Lady. i am Yours...Your slave. Your property," i breathed, my mind swimming deeeeep in subspace.
"Mmmmm...good answer, slave," J smiled. "I think not yet."
For the rest of the morning and early afternoon i remained always beneath J, which meant lots of kneeling, crawling and supplication. It also meant that when i was tasked to prepare lunch i was forced to make sandwiches on the floor, reaching up from my knees for what i needed. J took delight in watching me struggle, and i was able to keep the sandwiches off the floor, and the floor off the sandwiches, which seemed to make Her happy.
Eventually we needed to head out for some later afternoon errands. Before releasing me, J took my face in Her hands and kissed me softly, saying that She was very pleased with how well i had done at staying beneath Her, reminding me that it is where i truly belong, and assuring me that that day would not be the last time we played that game. i was not allowed release, but the rush of being put into such a submissive position was truly amazing. Can't wait for next time...=-)
To begin I should mention that, as much as She wields great power over me, J is only about 5'3", while i am more like 6'2". Though with the new emergence as a Domme She is also somehow able to seem like She is seven feet tall just through the tone of Her voice or a look in Her eye. She also never hesitates to get me down on my knees or on all fours as suits Her purposes.
For Saturday, though, She had something a little different in mind...
J was already up when i awoke, and as i sleepily stumbled into the living room She smiled, greeting me with a devilish "good morning, dear," and pointed to Her feet. She stretched languidly back on the couch wearing nothing but one of my old t-shirts, and i immediately set to work massaging Her feet. She looked down at me with what has become a familiar wicked smile.
"Now slave, I want to try something out today. It will require diligence on your part, but I think you can handle it."
"Yes, my Lady," i smiled, eager to hear what was coming, my hands still massaging and caressing Her lovely feet.
"As you know, I enjoy seeing you down at my feet, and often like seeing you wriggling on the ground or crawling on all fours. I think I'd like to see more of that in fact. So for today, you are to keep yourself lower than me until I say otherwise. That means your eyes should always be lower than my eyes. Your arms lower than my arms. You whole body, in fact, always beneath me. Do you understand?"
i quickly responded "yes," wondering what was to come.
"Good. Now go and fetch your collar, and keep the toy bag out where we can easily get to it."
i stood up, and immediately realized it was a mistake. The harsh look from J was instant confirmation.
"You didn't last ten seconds! Get over here, and do it properly," J seethed.
i dropped to all fours and crawled, careful to keep my head low as i approached.
"Better. Now kneel, facing me." i did as ordered and almost immediately felt a SMACK across the cheek. J's slap stung, tears welling up on my face as She smacked me again across the other cheek.
"Now what did I say?"
"That i am supposed to stay below You today, my Lady," i replied, shaking a little.
"And what did you do?"
"i...i failed, my Lady."
"Yes you did. Now close those eyes and keep that face still."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Four quick slaps and i could feel the heat on my cheeks, my eyes burning with tears of pain and shame.
"Will you listen now?" She demanded.
"Yes, my Lady" i breathed, eager to make amends and feeling incredibly submissive.
"Good. Now go fetch your collar. And bring the toy bag as well."
i crawled on all fours, J calling "head down!" as She does sometimes, an order to crawl with my nose as close to the floor as possible. i returned with the collar out and presented it to J, careful to keep my head low.
She held out the collar for me to kiss once, then slid it around my neck, clasping it shut. She then reached into the toy bag and pulled out one ankle cuff and a short length of rope. i stared confusedly as She slid the ankle cuff around Her own ankle, and then ordered me down by that foot.
"Now slave, we are going to start by having you worship the ground I walk on for a bit. Tie the rope to the ring on my ankle, and then to the ring in your collar. It should be short enough to keep your head lowered."
i complied with trembling fingers and J arose, looking down at me now bound to Her right foot.
"Good," She grinned. "Now let's take you for a walk. And you are to kiss the ground i walk on after each step, and not fall behind. Got it?"
"Yes, my Lady," i replied breathlessly.
J picked up our long thin-stringed flogger and set off. At first it was difficult to keep up with Her, especially as i was planting a tender kiss on each place where Her lovely foot had just trod. A little experimenting with the pace however, and more than a few stinging lashes with the flogger on my back and ass, got me in step.
J seemed delighted as She dragged me around the house, across the carpet, the merciless tile of the kitchen and bathroom, and up and down the stairs more than a few times. i was gasping and straining after a short while, my knees burning and body tensed, my mind focused on nothing but worshiping the small piece of floor in front of me that J had just stepped on.
After a time J returned to the couch and ordered me to untie the rope connecting my neck to Her ankle. She then had me crawl over and fetch Her a drink, then kneel beside Her holding it as a kind of human end table as She surfed the internet for a while.
Then She brought me back to the bedroom, where She had me lay down. She crawled on top of me, holding a set of nipple clamps and Her pink vibrator. J clamped me tightly, tugging the chain to make sure my nipples were firmly attached (they were) and then slid Her sex up and down my yearning cock, teasing me as She allowed me to enter Her. She sat back grinning.
"Happy, slave?" She asked, yanking the chain and bringing an audible yelp out of me.
"Yes, my Lady. i love to be beneath You," i breathed.
She smiled. "I know you do. And I love to see you there. But you won't be cumming yet. Just me," She smiled again, grabbed the nipple clamp chain like a set of horse reins and began using Her vibe. Gazing up at Her as She closed Her eye in pleasure, the shiny steel chain entwined in Her fingers as She delivered pain while She was pleasured, was exquisite. It did not take long for Her to begin bucking Her hips, and She screamed as the first orgasm came.
As She caught Her breath J continued to twirl and tug and yank the chain, delighting in my squirming. My yelps of pain, wide eyes and sharp breathing seemed to arouse Her even more, as two more orgasms soon followed before J deemed Herself satiated. As She crawled off me She gave the chain one more tug before removing the clamps.
"Mmmmmm...that was lovely. Now let's see...should we let you cum now?" J asked.
"Only if You wish, my Lady. i am Yours...Your slave. Your property," i breathed, my mind swimming deeeeep in subspace.
"Mmmmm...good answer, slave," J smiled. "I think not yet."
For the rest of the morning and early afternoon i remained always beneath J, which meant lots of kneeling, crawling and supplication. It also meant that when i was tasked to prepare lunch i was forced to make sandwiches on the floor, reaching up from my knees for what i needed. J took delight in watching me struggle, and i was able to keep the sandwiches off the floor, and the floor off the sandwiches, which seemed to make Her happy.
Eventually we needed to head out for some later afternoon errands. Before releasing me, J took my face in Her hands and kissed me softly, saying that She was very pleased with how well i had done at staying beneath Her, reminding me that it is where i truly belong, and assuring me that that day would not be the last time we played that game. i was not allowed release, but the rush of being put into such a submissive position was truly amazing. Can't wait for next time...=-)
Monday, March 12, 2012
This Morning...
...J woke me up with a quick shove. She was still lying beside me in bed.
"You'll find your collar down by my feet, slave. Go down, kiss each foot three times, and then bring it to me."
i was awake at once, and getting hard by the time i crawled down to the foot of the bed. i did as ordered, placing a sweet kiss on each beautiful, silken foot.
As the collar slid in place and J secured it around my neck i felt that familiar feeling of devotion, submission and deep love wash over me. That feeling of the collar sliding around my neck and closing tight, J peering down at me with a twinkle in Her eye and wicked grin on Her face, is one of my favorite things in the world.
"Now slave...you will go make me two eggs with toast, a bowl of that pineapple in the fridge and a cup of coffee. You have 15 minutes to do it all, bring it to me on a tray here in bed, and commence rubbing my feet as I eat. Any later and there will be consequences."
i hustled into the kitchen, scrambling to get everything done and back in time. i had to grind the coffee and made a mess, which needed to be cleaned and cost precious time. As i stared at the toaster while flipping the eggs i began to sweat with anxiety, fearing i wouldn't make it.
Upon returning to the bedroom my fears turned out to be accurate.
"18 minutes, slave. Poor form, dear," J said, Her voice dripping with disappointment. "Hand me my breakfast and get down there to my feet...but know that there will be consequences."
i crawled down, focusing on Her feet as She ate. Twice when J spilled some breakfast She ordered me to lick it up with my tongue, once some egg and once some fruit. After She was done i was also ordered to clean the bed sheets of all toast crumbs with my tongue. It was agonizingly slow but after my earlier failure i was sure to be extra thorough and actually met with J's approval.
"Now...you were three minutes late. What's your excuse?"
"i...i am very sorry my Lady. There is no excuse for such failure, and i submit myself for Your punishment."
"Good answer. Now let's see...well, we will be drawing one card each from the Punishment Box for each minute. But seeing as I have to go to work soon, we'll save those for later. For now, go and stand against the wall, eyes closed, hands above your head pressed against the wall and feet apart."
i did as commanded, and then shuddered as i felt J wrap one of Her scarves around my head again and again, covering my eyes tight and wrapping around my ears to dampen the sound.
"Now you will stay like that while I shower, and await your punishment."
"Yes, my Lady," i whispered.
J showered and dressed in the bedroom as i stood, shivering from the cold and trembling with fear and anticipation. She then slid Her hand across my back and brought Her mouth close to my ear.
"Now you will stay like that until I release you, isn't that right, slave?"
"Yes, my Lady" i whispered.
"No matter what?"
"Yes, my Lady. No matter what."
"Good. Now I am going to work. You are to stay until released. Got it?" J laughed as She said this and watched me gasp and tremble more vigorously.
"i...yes, My lady" i whispered, my mind whirring. How long was i going to be kept imprisoned here? My arms were already aching and legs shaking. Would it be all day? All morning?
i heard J walk out the front door and close it tightly, then heard the car start up and drive away. Apparently this was serious...and my mind began to whir in panic as i heard the car drive away.
i stood there for what felt like forever, in the dark and alone, under the complete power of my Lady. i was shaking and aching but did not dare move. Even though i was not bound in any way, my submissive mind so strong that it was as good as being chained to the wall.
Finally i heard the door open again, after what felt like an eternity (but was probably more like half an hour). J entered the bedroom and immediately slid Her nails down my naked back, scratching marks down me to further mark me as Hers.
"Hmmmm...doesn't look like You moved slave," J whispered.
"No, my Lady."
"Good...though I bet you will now."
With no further warning i felt an incredibly sharp sting on my ass, then another one and another. i screamed as the new sensation cascaded down...this was not something J had ever used on me before, and it hurt! We have pretty much used paddles and floggers, and this was more like how i imagine a switch or a cane might feel. VERY stingy, without the harder thud of a paddle. It was agonizing.
"Now count for me, dear...you will be receiving 10 strokes for each minute you were late."
"Yes, my Lady. Thank You, my Lady," i breathed.
The strokes came fast and furious, sometime swinging hard, sometimes a little softer. J worked me over, moving from my ass to the backs of my thighs and up and down. By the end i was screaming out each number through gritted teeth and rapid breath, sweat pouring down me under the incredible sting.
After thirty i sagged, my arms sliding down the wall. J immediately barked out a "tsk, tsk, tsk...that won't do," and gave me 10 more. i was shaking and on fire by the time She was done.
J slid the scarf off my face, pinching my burning ass mercilessly as She removed the blindfold. She spun me around and ordered me to my knees, where i knelt and kissed each foot three times to thank Her, as i always do after a punishment.
J was holding an end of tree branch She had found the other day, the perfect size and shape for her to use on me. She had a wicked grin as She asked, "like my new toy?"
"yes, my Lady," i answered, my eyes wide as She stood over me.
"Good. Because this is not the last you'll see of it," She grinned. "Now on to the punishment box...we'll have to get to these later since we're busy the next couple days, which is why I wanted to give you a reminder of your failings this morning. But I think the anticipation will only add to the other punishments, wouldn't you agree?"
J laughed out loud at the look on my face, then caressed my cheek gently before giving it a quick slap and ordering me to fetch the box.
She was sitting down when i got back and i knelt before Her and handed Her the box. She drew three and handed them to me, ordering me to read them aloud.
"Rice" was the first one - a painful session kneeling on rice on the hard kitchen floor, then the tedious task of picking them up one at a time.
"Lines" was the second one - we use the Fond of Writing software, which allows J to set the number of lines and all kinds of devious little distraction boxes, backwards writing and other ways to trip me up.
"Mushrooms" was the third one - i have written about that one before...ugh.
All in all quite a way to start the week. i am still sore and marked after this morning, and still have lots of punishments to come. It's all more than worth it, however, for the chance to serve and be the slave of such a wonderful, beautiful Wife. The way She just decided to exert Her authority for no particular reason this morning is just the latest sign of how far She has come in embracing Her new role as Domme, and how lucky i am to be Hers...forever.
"You'll find your collar down by my feet, slave. Go down, kiss each foot three times, and then bring it to me."
i was awake at once, and getting hard by the time i crawled down to the foot of the bed. i did as ordered, placing a sweet kiss on each beautiful, silken foot.
As the collar slid in place and J secured it around my neck i felt that familiar feeling of devotion, submission and deep love wash over me. That feeling of the collar sliding around my neck and closing tight, J peering down at me with a twinkle in Her eye and wicked grin on Her face, is one of my favorite things in the world.
"Now slave...you will go make me two eggs with toast, a bowl of that pineapple in the fridge and a cup of coffee. You have 15 minutes to do it all, bring it to me on a tray here in bed, and commence rubbing my feet as I eat. Any later and there will be consequences."
i hustled into the kitchen, scrambling to get everything done and back in time. i had to grind the coffee and made a mess, which needed to be cleaned and cost precious time. As i stared at the toaster while flipping the eggs i began to sweat with anxiety, fearing i wouldn't make it.
Upon returning to the bedroom my fears turned out to be accurate.
"18 minutes, slave. Poor form, dear," J said, Her voice dripping with disappointment. "Hand me my breakfast and get down there to my feet...but know that there will be consequences."
i crawled down, focusing on Her feet as She ate. Twice when J spilled some breakfast She ordered me to lick it up with my tongue, once some egg and once some fruit. After She was done i was also ordered to clean the bed sheets of all toast crumbs with my tongue. It was agonizingly slow but after my earlier failure i was sure to be extra thorough and actually met with J's approval.
"Now...you were three minutes late. What's your excuse?"
"i...i am very sorry my Lady. There is no excuse for such failure, and i submit myself for Your punishment."
"Good answer. Now let's see...well, we will be drawing one card each from the Punishment Box for each minute. But seeing as I have to go to work soon, we'll save those for later. For now, go and stand against the wall, eyes closed, hands above your head pressed against the wall and feet apart."
i did as commanded, and then shuddered as i felt J wrap one of Her scarves around my head again and again, covering my eyes tight and wrapping around my ears to dampen the sound.
"Now you will stay like that while I shower, and await your punishment."
"Yes, my Lady," i whispered.
J showered and dressed in the bedroom as i stood, shivering from the cold and trembling with fear and anticipation. She then slid Her hand across my back and brought Her mouth close to my ear.
"Now you will stay like that until I release you, isn't that right, slave?"
"Yes, my Lady" i whispered.
"No matter what?"
"Yes, my Lady. No matter what."
"Good. Now I am going to work. You are to stay until released. Got it?" J laughed as She said this and watched me gasp and tremble more vigorously.
"i...yes, My lady" i whispered, my mind whirring. How long was i going to be kept imprisoned here? My arms were already aching and legs shaking. Would it be all day? All morning?
i heard J walk out the front door and close it tightly, then heard the car start up and drive away. Apparently this was serious...and my mind began to whir in panic as i heard the car drive away.
i stood there for what felt like forever, in the dark and alone, under the complete power of my Lady. i was shaking and aching but did not dare move. Even though i was not bound in any way, my submissive mind so strong that it was as good as being chained to the wall.
Finally i heard the door open again, after what felt like an eternity (but was probably more like half an hour). J entered the bedroom and immediately slid Her nails down my naked back, scratching marks down me to further mark me as Hers.
"Hmmmm...doesn't look like You moved slave," J whispered.
"No, my Lady."
"Good...though I bet you will now."
With no further warning i felt an incredibly sharp sting on my ass, then another one and another. i screamed as the new sensation cascaded down...this was not something J had ever used on me before, and it hurt! We have pretty much used paddles and floggers, and this was more like how i imagine a switch or a cane might feel. VERY stingy, without the harder thud of a paddle. It was agonizing.
"Now count for me, dear...you will be receiving 10 strokes for each minute you were late."
"Yes, my Lady. Thank You, my Lady," i breathed.
The strokes came fast and furious, sometime swinging hard, sometimes a little softer. J worked me over, moving from my ass to the backs of my thighs and up and down. By the end i was screaming out each number through gritted teeth and rapid breath, sweat pouring down me under the incredible sting.
After thirty i sagged, my arms sliding down the wall. J immediately barked out a "tsk, tsk, tsk...that won't do," and gave me 10 more. i was shaking and on fire by the time She was done.
J slid the scarf off my face, pinching my burning ass mercilessly as She removed the blindfold. She spun me around and ordered me to my knees, where i knelt and kissed each foot three times to thank Her, as i always do after a punishment.
J was holding an end of tree branch She had found the other day, the perfect size and shape for her to use on me. She had a wicked grin as She asked, "like my new toy?"
"yes, my Lady," i answered, my eyes wide as She stood over me.
"Good. Because this is not the last you'll see of it," She grinned. "Now on to the punishment box...we'll have to get to these later since we're busy the next couple days, which is why I wanted to give you a reminder of your failings this morning. But I think the anticipation will only add to the other punishments, wouldn't you agree?"
J laughed out loud at the look on my face, then caressed my cheek gently before giving it a quick slap and ordering me to fetch the box.
She was sitting down when i got back and i knelt before Her and handed Her the box. She drew three and handed them to me, ordering me to read them aloud.
"Rice" was the first one - a painful session kneeling on rice on the hard kitchen floor, then the tedious task of picking them up one at a time.
"Lines" was the second one - we use the Fond of Writing software, which allows J to set the number of lines and all kinds of devious little distraction boxes, backwards writing and other ways to trip me up.
"Mushrooms" was the third one - i have written about that one before...ugh.
All in all quite a way to start the week. i am still sore and marked after this morning, and still have lots of punishments to come. It's all more than worth it, however, for the chance to serve and be the slave of such a wonderful, beautiful Wife. The way She just decided to exert Her authority for no particular reason this morning is just the latest sign of how far She has come in embracing Her new role as Domme, and how lucky i am to be Hers...forever.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Playing Lady Grey's Amazing "Reconsider" Game
One of my favorite femdom blogs is Lady Grey's Woman in Control. She may not write as often as some other bloggers, but when She does it is always interesting, sometimes thought-provoking, sometimes funny, often both and usually hot as all hell. =-) She's a great writer with a deliciously wicked mind, and if you haven't been to Her blog you should go read it. Like, right now.
In one of her recent posts Lady Grey described a new game She had invented with Her sub called "RECONSIDER." The upshot of the game is that Lady Grey assigned Her slave Karl with the difficult and tedious task of picking up every last fallen Christmas tree needle by hand, and then after he had said he was done She had asked him if he was sure he was done, or if he would like to "reconsider" his answer. Considering the huge number of needles that fall off a tree, and all the nooks and crannies where they could end up, Lady Grey's slave was understandably hesitant, especially after She made it clear that there would be serious punishment should She find even one needle someplace. There were also repercussions when he decided to "reconsider" his answer. The beauty of the game is that it not only makes a slave focus on the task assigned by his Mistress, it forces him into a deliciously no-win situation where he is choosing his own potential punishment.
It's a wonderful post, and a wonderful game that Lady Grey invented. As a sub husband i know that sometimes i may think i have completed a task, but my standards often fall far short of those of my Lady. In the past J would deal with this by sometimes punishing me, and sometimes just rolling Her (gorgeous) eyes at my shortcomings. Having this new game introduced into our lives has provided J with a fun new mechanism to improve my service immensely.
i recently introduced J to the concept behind Lady Grey's "Reconsider" game, and She immediately liked the idea and saw how it could make me a better slave. J prefers what She calls the "Are you sure?" game, where i complete a task assigned by Her and She then judges my proficiency. The rush of kneeling before Her and stating i have completed my task and then having J cock an eyebrow, look down on me with a smirk and ask "Are you sure?" is incredible...
The game has already helped make me a better sub husband. For one example, i have always struggled with doing the dishes, and the "Are you sure?" game has been a tremendous help. We don't have a dishwasher and, try as i might i am simply not very good at washing dishes, and often miss parts of a pan or bowl or do a subpar job in J's eyes of making sure a plate or fork is fully cleaned. For a time J did not allow me to wash dishes, feeling that even if i tried to wash them She would just have to do it all over again anyway. But thanks to the "Are you sure?" game i am getting better.
The other day J texted me with an order to make sure all the dishes in the house were done by the time She got home. i rushed home, beating her by 45 minutes and dove into the pile of dishes in the sink and 2 dirty pans on the stove. When J arrived home i greeted Her with a kiss, then knelt down in the kitchen before the sink so She could inspect my work.
"Now slave, did you wash all of these dishes?" J asked
"Yes, my Lady."
"Even the greasy pan and dirty cookie sheet? And the bowl with the caked on frosting?"
"Yes, my Lady." i knelt, trembling before Her as She looked at the dishes in the drying rack.
"And they are all clean?" She asked, a smile in Her voice.
"i..um, yes, my Lady. i think so."
"You think so?!? Well...let me put it this way: Are you sure?"
i trembled as i knelt before Her. The words held such meaning, and i immediately felt as if i was not sure. But plunging ahead foolishly i answered, "yes My Lady."
J inspected every dish, turning it in the light and rubbing Her lovely fingers across each one. It didn't take long before She found a spot of leftover something in one of the pans.
Grabbing my hair and shoving the pan in my face, J looked down at me. 'Then what. is. this?!?" She hissed ominously.
"i...i..i'm so sorry, my Lady."
"Sorry? But you said you were sure, slave. You know what this means, don't you?"
"i...i, yes, my Lady, i am very sorry my Lady."
You see, our new rule is that when i explicitly say i am sure and then still fail, i have to immediately draw from the punishment box and then J decides how best to proceed. For my failing with the dishes i drew the SHOWER card, meaning i had to march in to the bathroom and take a dreaded cold shower, with J watching and laughing all the time. We have a 20-sided dice we roll with the SHOWER card and thankfully it came up 9, meaning i had just a 9 minute cold shower. J loves to watch me yelp and scamper under the cold water, yet as much as i may like to amuse Her the SHOWER card is one of my least favorite punishments, especially in the winter. Brrrrrr!
After my punishment was done J let me get into my robe and kneel before Her, where i kissed Her feet and as always thanked Her for taking the time to punish me. Then She dragged me back into the kitchen, ordered me to take off my robe, cuffed my wrists and clamped my nipples and pointed to the sink.
"You failed me today, didn't you?" J asked.
"Yes, my Lady. i am so sorry, my Lady," i whispered.
"Well...so you start to learn you will re-wash every dish in this drying rack, and you will do it cuffed and clamped. And you better do a better job this time, or you'll be drawing from the box again."
i immediately set to work, scrubbing each dish and holding it into the light to make sure it was clean. i was shaking with dread, realizing that i would never be sure if i was meeting J's standards until She came to check at the end, and wondering if i would be punished again and have to do all the dishes over and over.
After some (trust me) thorough scrubbing and lots of close examination of each dish, i called to J that i was finished. She came down the stairs slowly and walked into the kitchen, caressing my hair as i knelt before the sink.
"So you've done them all again, slave?" J looked down with an amused smirk.
"Yes, my Lady."
"And are they actually clean this time, slave?"
"Yes, my Lady."
"Are you sure?"
The words are now filled with so much meaning for us that i couldn't help but tremble as She spoke them. But i was as sure as i was going to be, so i breathed out a yes through quivering lips.
"Hmmmm...well, let's see." J inspected every dish as i knelt before the sink, my every nerve and sense attuned to Her as She looked at my handiwork. i am not sure i have ever been more focused on trying to pick up clues from the body language of a person as i was that evening staring at J, and among other things it helped me realize that i should always try to be that attuned to J's needs, whims and desires.
"Hmmm, well I suppose you have done well," J said leisurely. "Well done, slave. we'll make a dishwasher out of you yet!"
"i...thank You my Lady."
"Now let's see if we can get that same kind of focus to my feet." J led me to the living room, where i knelt before Her on the couch and set to Her nightly foot massage.
We have used the "Are you sure?" question a few times in the last month, and i have really come to appreciate how it helps me realize that all that i do must be up to J's standards, not mine, and that i should be fully focused and attuned to Her needs and Her desires as much as possible.
It's an important new tool for J in our growing FLR marriage, and i can recommend developing a similar kind of "Reconsider" game for any FLR. It has helped me become a better servant to J, and helped Her fully realize that it is Her standards that matter in our new relationship paradigm, and if things do not meet Her standards that there are ways of correcting that.
For that, and for all the other wonderful posts, i am eternally grateful to Lady Grey. And really, go and read Her blog - it's on my blog roll to the right and you won't regret it. =-)
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